from blah to beautiful in a day

You know those days when you feel like blah for no reason?  Except there are reasons?  This sort of day happened to me recently. I was missing my family like cray.  I'm still in transition so everyday feels like I'm a tester for roller coasters, and people are showing me who they are and for better or worse, I am believing them. I've recently realized and accepted the fact that sometimes our hearts intertwine and stay that way forever just because. Other times, we fully face and seek to embrace the reality that shelf lives, seasons, and expiration dates are for real. Another reason that propelled me into blah-dom: In the same night, I experienced euphoric heights of love and connection with my tribe, and then somehow crash landed into a desolate island where foolishness had gone to seed and taken root. The juxtaposition was a jarring yet poignant reminder of what I choose to embrace and that which I can entertain no longer...

All of these feelings were a cocktail of contrasting emotions.  Sitting on top of my own turbulent heart sensations were the tough situations of folks I love and adore.  It was all too much and I woke up with a sense of drowning in overwhelm. Flying down the highway I said a whine of a prayer that went something like this: Please help.  Everything feels so harsh right now.  Like it's all too much and I am not feeling the love. The very thing I thought would heal me has brought me undone. It feels like I cannot sense love and beauty anymore.  Open my eyes and help me see.  Help, help, help. 

I floundered and felt bottomed out emotionally for a few hours, but I kept pushing through--on the verge of tears--taking one step at a time.  A phone call from my favorite uncle was the first sign.  His call was the lifter of my head.   We talked for hours and it was food to my soul. Food.  To my soul, yall.  Monarch butterflies were the next omen.  All day, everywhere I went, they fluttered nearby and made my heart leap.  Their orange wings brought me hope for the present moment.  Even Neighbor was involved without knowing.  She rounded out the trifecta when she so lovingly ran an errand for me.  I didn't ask or expect her to yet she *always* does things like this for me; however, on this particular day, she delivered a loving message from the librarian. Her exact words that echoed in my heart: You are loved by even librarians. 

God's answer was undeniable: See the beauty and feel the love because it is SO there.  

Earth Angels are real yall! 

The day could have ended right there for me because I truly received the message and my heart was full; however, "my cup runneth over" when my doorbell rang and a true Earth Angel was standing on my porch with the most glorious bouquet I have EVER seen. Blow me away, sweet Baby Jesus.  We talked, took a ride together, and then talked some more.  Just being with Earth Angel undid the crash landing, unraveled the overwhelm, and healed another little piece of my heart.  Friends, there is hope for the present moment.  May you see the beauty and feel the love.  May your overwhelm come undone and your heart receive sweet healing.  If you need a sign, just ask. Surely it will come (tweet it).

   

leave room for yourself

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your joys, your hopes, your dreams

those moments that make your heart flutter

the activities that set your soul free

leave room for yourself to 

enjoy

explore

learn

evolve

and grow

kiss your life 

daily

because

it is a good life

really

too often we lose ourselves

in our job

title

or family role

enjoy the many hats you wear

just remember to change into 

your favorite cap often

smile

laugh

giggle

do what you love

always 

always 

always

leave room for yourself.  

you are not alone

Sometimes I pretend like I am all alone in this world.  A stereotypically and instantly oprhaned Disney character left to make it through life on my own far away from home.  I do not know why I do this.  Maybe it is my creative-dramatic personality or just an independent-loner mentality.  Maybe it's a little bit of both.  Regardless, the lonely card is absolutely bogus, ridiculous untruth.  

So today I think what if I stop telling myself that I am all alone in this world?

What if I start remembering all the instances of laughter, love and undeniable this-person-is-in-my-corner-ness that is there? Oh yes, it is there... if only we will acknowledge it.  

For me lately, support has revealed itself in the following ways: 

unwavering love, support and loyalty that is my hubster

connecting with a bestie (friends since high school) umpteen years later and through it all, the love grows deeper still

full-bodied conversation with a forever friend I met way back in college

belly laughs regarding foolywank performances, Wolverine, ice sculptures and the engraving of a machete

kindred spirits traveling cross country and back with a kitty cat to boot #goodtimes 

friends forev

swimming and soaking up the sun on the 4th of July

keeping it real about struggles, transitions and life lessons

an encouraging comment or email that comes along right when I'm wondering if this blog thing even matters (You know who you are and I truly appreciate your heartfelt expressions. For reals, I do.)

witnessing a dream come true for my little one via Mam, Pap, Aunt Sissy and Kasey the Power Ranger 

connecting over coffee and goodies that were microwaved too long... legs with milk spots #LOL

safety, protection, provision, guardian angels, a cousin-sister, snuggles, chasing lightning bugs, dancing and doing the daily work of being my best self.  

All evidence of a lavish life full of love, encouragement and unwavering support.  You have it too, you know.  Yes, there is always a handful of haters fringe minority handful of haters who don't understand, but that's OK because: 

1. I don't get them either lol! 

2.  What others think of me is none of my business, 'member?

3.  Haters gonna hate, so let 'em hate while we live a life that's great (haha I rhymed! #rapperswag ... not really lol)

When I look around and see how many people I love, how many people love me and are in my corner, it makes my heart smile and then swell with love and gratitude.  Today I hope that you will open your eyes to the caring connections, lavish love and steady support that you have in your life because it is there.  Undeniably.  

your best self

Regardless of what others are doing, always purpose and endeavor to be your best self.

It is a battle--being your authentic self-- because there are ample opportunities to throw in the towel by ignoring the whispers of your soul, following the status quo herd and pretending to be something you really aren't.  We must press on in order to find our stride and after while, who we are becomes seamless and synonymous inside and out.  Please note: this is not a one time event but an ongoing process, pursuit and lifestyle.  When we stick with the journey, we become open vessels who can give and receive, authentic individuals who just live fully and freely refusing to do life in carefully crafted compartments.  We enjoy life and just live it.  Purposefully.  Intentionally.  In wide open spaces.  Aware of our thoughts, mindful of our word choice, gracious and compassionate in loving ourselves and others.  We own our beauty (or handsomeness!) and we admire and appreciate it.  We see it for what it's truly worth.  Then we are no longer threatened or intimidated by false advertisements, the manipulative media or even the beauty of others because we know there is more than enough.  That this ample universe is burgeoning to overflowing with resources and room for everyone.  Everyone who chooses to partake, that is.  And because we know that who we are is no accidental thought or passing fluke, we humbly accept the lessons that life has to offer and through acceptance, we grow in wisdom, patience and grace.  Nobody said it would be easy.  So sometimes it does hurt, but after while, the climb starts to feel so good that we can't stop.  We don't want to.  And even though we feel worn to a nub at times, we keep going because new adventures await.  Deeper knowledge. Divine experiences and greater things generally speaking.  We may glance back--from whence we came--occasionally, but the past never holds our gaze for long because we are too grateful.  Too excited about right now, today and the future.  Things are too good to stall, so as we keep moving forward, we know that our character (the way we act when we think no one is looking), how we treat ourselves and how we treat others matters.  It really matters.  And so we decide to press on regardless of what other folks are doing.  Never forgetting this fact: what other people think of me is none of my business.  

Here's to being your best self, 


XO- Sharita

life begins

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When you stop pretending that you've got it all together.


When you stop pretending like you ever did.




When you surrender to the concept of amazing grace
and dole it out by heaping spoonfuls to yourself and others.




That's right, forgive yourself first; because then it's much easier to release others.


When you admire and appreciate the beauty that surrounds us everyday
in nature and in people of all sizes, shapes and nationalities...
without the thief of comparison and without feeling diminished or insignificant yourself...




When you lose the US vs THEM mentality.


When you recognize and count your blessings even on the toughest days.


Because if you are reading this blog and/or you ate today, you are among the richest in the world.  That's right...  The richest.  




When giving becomes more important than receiving.


When you realize that it's not all about you and it is no longer about what they have or haven't done, but it's about what this heart, this mind and these hands can do for the greater good.  


When you're no longer singing the Everyday Blues and you send the Woe Is Me mentality a packing, that is when life begins, my friends.


Open your eyes to the magnificence that surrounds you.
Unparalleled beauty is just a glance away.


Surrender (again)
to Trust
to Beauty
to Grace
to Love


When you trust the process and accept the divine rhythm that has been given to you for this measure of life.  Then you are fully alive...


Let's go there,


♥ Sharita

sackcloth and ashes

At the start of each year, I usually get a word or phrase that becomes my theme or mantra for the entire year.  Also, at the beginning of each year, I am unusually quiet and reflective about the direction of my life, goals, dreams and commitments.  I already told yall in my last post about my over-scheduling problem.  It's still large and in charge, which is a major sad face, so today is the day I begin trimming the excess off the calendar.  The dramatic part of me is in full mourning over this.  Full mourning.  So much so that I have taken it back to the old school:  I am preparing to dress in sackcloth and dump ashes upon my head as soon as I'm finished with this post.  If you know where I live, do a driveby... I will be near the curb thrashing wildly and lamenting loudly... at least until my husband gets home... because he will make me come inside.  

click here to purchase sackcloth

Why is it so tough for me to accept the fact that I cannot do it all?  That sometimes what is good will become a thief of what's best if I'm not careful.  That I am in a season of life that is demanding in more ways than I even know how to express.  But I think every season of life tends to feel like that which brings me back to the fact that I can't do it all.  Sigh... dumps ashes on head... I keep telling myself that these schedule changes are for my own good and the good of those who are near and dear.  When I look at my commitments and goals for the year, I know that in order to embrace new things, I have to let go of others... puts on sackcloth... I will do what's right for me.  I will.  Even though there will be a mixture of joy (for new things) and some mourning (for the loss of former things)... Therefore I will weep by the curb (until my husband gets home).  



Why in the world am I so dramatic, you ask?  I think it has something to do with being a HSP.  It has been a lifelong trait, just ask my mother.  I'm really looking forward to God explaining that to me one day.  


So back to that reflection and direction for the year... The word (well, one of them) that has been stirring in my heart and soul for year is give.  

Give your self fully to the things that are most important right now.  

Give up some things so that you can fully focus your time, resources and energy. 

Give ... right now I am pondering this word and its definition.  
As I feel led, I am acting with conviction.  


*takes phone call*


I just gave up my first thing and it feels sad, liberating, frustrating, right, wrong and weird all at the same time.  It isn't fun, yet I know within my soul that it is the right decision for this season of life...dumps another bucket of ashes on head.  


Sometimes life is such a mixture of contrasting emotions.  I keep reminding myself that without change there'd be no butterflies...


To know when and where to give myself fully.  
To know when and where to give up fully too.  

This is my journey for 2012...

Do you have a theme word or phrase for the year?  

XOXO ♥ Sharita


p.s.  Honk if you pass by while I'm wailing curbside... 

best day ever

Jadyn Noelle Photography

Funny how the best days are usually the simplest days.  Yesterday was one of those days.  Beautiful weather. The only item on the agenda: fun times frolicking with friends.  I may have told you this before, but I believe I have the greatest friends on Earth.  Truly.  My friends = fabulosity personified. We ate here and it was DELISH! For reals. I wanted to lick my bowl and I actually thought about licking it more than once.  I refrained ONLY because the bowl was lined with paper and I knew I couldn't lick the juices without eating paper.  If I figure this dilemma out before my next visit, it is on like Donkey Kong.  We talked, laughed, enjoyed the silence, ran light errands together and then meandered about.  


Love.
Peace. 
Serendipity.
Togetherness.


And it didn't end there.
I finished the evening by "geeking out on my own terms" in a "judgement free zone" with another pal.  It was heavenly hash, downright divine and totally kosher.  The perfect finale to an utterly fabulous day.  


Giggles
PBJ
Navigating blog platforms
Swooning over this jewelry 
Togetherness


Friends = Brains, Lives and Hearts that are divinely connected.  


Show and tell your friends how much you love em.   
Enjoy each other's company as often as you can...  




"God made friends so we'll carry a part of His perfect love in all our hearts."  -Jill Wolf 
  




Hugs and Love!!! :)















  

one million ways

"There is no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one."  -Jill Churchill


This quote is universal because it applies to all of us: parents, siblings, cousins, extended family titles, students, teachers and friends.  Any word that describes someone can be substituted for the word "mother" in this quote.  So if you're reading this, the message is applicable to you wherever you are in your walk of life right now.  


This quote got me to thinking that sometimes we are too hard on ourselves.  Well, let me just speak for myself.  Sometimes most times I am too hard on myself.  Too tough, too critical and too demanding in my personal expectations.  While there is absolutely nothing wrong with setting healthy goals in the form of boundaries and discipline, it is inappropriate to demand or expect perfection simply because perfection (the idea of getting it all right all the time) from a human standpoint does not exist.  


When I re-read the underlined sentence, I realized that I totally understand this on a mental level; however the revelation has yet to penetrate my heart.  So here I am today: erasing the idea of perfection from my mind, my checklist and my inner vocabulary because the trade off sounds so rich: "millions of ways to be good".  Are the odds in my favor or what? 


We all know that searching for something that isn't real is just plain foolish.  Yes? Yes.
So today I am slaying my pursuit of perfection and accepting the reality that my best is good enough.  I just sent my inner critic packing, decided to fully embrace all the good that is and face the future full of hope and possibility.  Today let's focus on the good that we can do in millions of ways.  Send perfection packing.  Let's agree to do our best and trust God to do the rest.  

next stop: funk-free living

Is there a situation or an outcome you are gripping so tightly that you can't find acceptance or peace?  


Sometimes there are distinct moments where we implicitly know we need to let go and forgive.  One of those moments just happened to me mere seconds ago as a shovelful of dirt came flying my way. 


Other times, it's not so obvious as there are days, weeks, months and years of hurts, pains, misunderstandings, stockpiled emotions, unsavory interactions and perceived injustices crammed in the recesses of your heart.  This can happen to the best of us and for me it was one. tangled. mess. 


A wise friend once said, "If you are breathing, you have hurts, habits and hang-ups."  
So here are a few questions for today: What emotions are stirring underneath the surface?  Do you have a gnarly knot deep within?  If so, will you go there and start to unpack?  Today?


I know... sometimes the thought of unpacking feels overwhelming.  Personally, I am one who prefers to live out of my suitcase after a trip until it's "unpacked" so I understand if you're feeling a bit reluctant, yet this must be done.  Somehow... (with intention)... Someway... (one article at a time)


Put simply: you will face the funk or live in a funk forever.  Pretending like there's nothing beneath the surface or faking it like you don't (regularly) live in a funk can only last for so long.  Been there, done that and realized real quick-like that living the fake life and lying to myself just ain't for me.  I mean, who in tarnation really wants to live that way?   In time willpower will run out and since pretending is the antithesis of all that is authentic, we don't want to live there anyway.  I'm not talking about faking it until you make it, either... because I do get that. "Do it scared" (meaning pretend like you're not scared and go for it) is one of my favorite phrases by Joyce Meyer.  While there is a time to fake it 'til you make it, that's not what I'm talking about here.  I'm talking about unpacking the overflowing closet of your life that resides deep within your heart.  I have found that when I don't unpack, I start to act out in the nastiest of ways because the residual yuck and decaying emotions eventually start to seep out.  After all if the closet is piled high and stuffed to capacity, it's really tough to keep the door closed.  This, my friends is "the funk" and you must face it and unpack it or by default, you live in the funk.  Forever.  


I'm not down with the latter and I sure hope you aren't either. 
Girlfriends and Homeboys, it's time to face the funk.  


Over time I have found that the more I unpack, the better I feel, the lighter I travel and the easier it is to forgive and let go.  I get to practice this just about everyday in some form or another.  If you have an overgrowth of emotion to address, do not be afraid.  Like Joyce said, Do it scared! All the while, keep this in mind: You deal with the funk one piece, one moment and one step at a time.  


For me, right now I am processing through the hurt and pain of rejection.  Looking at a cocktail of lies, anger, judgements and criticisms and for the first time realizing that I don't have to drink it.  My position has been supported by some and misunderstood by others.  I am so grateful for the support and regarding the haters, I say, "Oh well... that's too bad.. Bless their hearts" and I often refer to Agreement 2.  Yeah... for sanity and personal well-being, this girl's gotta do what this girl's gotta do.  So, until hearts are changed (mine included?), it is what it is...  and while I do have hope that it will not always be this way, I'm not holding my breath while I wait.  


So until change comes and even if change never comes, I have decided to let go.  Detach.  Totally.  In Love, which means that I allow all the hurt and anger to dissipate, forgive all the foolishness (including myself) and trust that greater things are yet to come.  In the mean time, I celebrate all the beauty that is in my life every. single. day.  Because... despite the peripheral drama, I have so much goodness going on right here.  See how good unpacking feels when you come full circle?


I have found that there is an art to letting go, which means to say it is not a one-time event but rather an ongoing process.  As each layer is peeled back, you discover another emotion to observe, learn from and ultimately release.  I find that as I keep peeling the layers back there is a lightness... a freedom emerges which can't be taken away.  As I flex my God-given right to be me, clarity, support and provision emerge, and the brilliant light of authentic living shines  until my heart is fully open and my soul is set free.  Won't you join me in the pursuit of a clutter free life?  Let's unpack, Ladies and Gentlemen because the destination is WELL worth it.  

Beauty is skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone

photog by Jadyn Noelle Photography

A friend posted this comment on Twitter and it literally made me laugh out loud.  We tweeted  and laughed back and forth about it.  Ugly = mean was my friend's final tweet and I responded something along the lines of Ain't that the truth!  Subsequently, I went from laughing to pondering the weight of truth within the statement.  Beauty is skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.  Such a simple statement.  So powerful.  So true.  


As I think about some of the most beautiful people I know, they each possess a radiance that starts within and is reflected on the outside as well.  Inner beauty,  the true catalyst for outer beauty, trumps all. 


So the question for today is are you beautiful *handsome for the gents* or ugly?
I'm not talking about your personal evaluation of your eyes, nose, face, smile or other assets, either.  This is a question that requires us to look within and ask: What is the condition of my heart?   How do I look within?  What's really going on skin deep?


God don't like ugly...


Beauty is as beauty does I have heard folks say... 


So what does Beauty look like?
Beauty is thoughtful, patient and kind.  It responds with a pure heart, expresses sincerity, speaks the truth in love and seeks to build up others.  A Beautiful heart is an open heart, one that embraces life to the full.  Beauty is welcoming, loving and supportive, thinks of others first and wants what is best for all.  Faith, love, hope, trust, encouragement and forgiveness are all expressions of Beauty.  


How does Ugly look?
Ugly is hasty and mean.  It crafts and holds onto lies, tears others down, and reacts with anger, hatred and aggression.  Ugly refuses to accept truth and insists on winning at all costs.  Ugly thinks only of self, sees no way but it's own and blames everyone else.  Ugly one ups, tears down, excludes and takes pleasure in causing others pain.  Gossip, jealousy, envy, hatred and strife are all synonymous with Ugly.   


When I read through the two descriptions above, all the words describing Ugly actually sound detestable.  The words describing Beauty sound desirable and attractive.  Beauty describes all the traits that I want to emanate, so that is where I purpose to live life and I hope you will join me.  Now is the time to become the Beauties that we truly are because if Ugly can go clear to the bone, well Beauty can too.  

Word with the Wise Wednesday: My Mom

1.  What important life lessons have you learned so far?
The importance of being true to who I am and what's really in my heart.  Making sure that my words and the intentions of my heart match. Life is not about saying the "right thing" to people while thinking a "different thing" in my heart.  It's about living an honest life with a heart that is pure, focused and sincere.

2. How is the world today different or similar to what it was like when you were a child?    
When I was a child, things were very simple.  We had fun and there was an innocence throughout society and every day life.  Respect for each other, family values and strong character were extremely important... almost revered.  There was not such an open display of disrespect and dishonesty like I see now.  Today wrongdoing seems glorified and nothing is taboo anymore.  The morals and values of our culture as a whole have gotten weaker.  People seem much more self centered now and we live in a feel good society where there is little to no accountability.  


3.  What has been your hardest lesson to date?  

What's "Above the Fray" Anyway?

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Above the Fray is a lifestyle, an attitude, a state of mind.  It is the decision to live life on a higher plain where I am learning how to honor the truths within my heart and live every day with intention and joy. To live Above the Fray is not a one time decision.  It is a lifelong commitment...  a journey of sorts where the state of my heart, thoughts and feelings (the aspects of me that no one can see) are growing and evolving in dynamic ways.  While the individual lessons are always different, the core element of the lessons remains the same: rise above it all and soar towards the horizon of your destiny.  For me, right now, it's all about moving forward despite failures and setbacks, loving others, letting go when necessary, holding onto hope, having a grateful heart and counting my blessings, not judging (myself or others), trusting the process and living one moment at a time.  In a nutshell, it's about celebrating life each day because every lesson, failure, opportunity or setback is just another stroke of the brush that is crafting this life into a beautiful and brilliant masterpiece.  Am I a finished work of art today?  No, not yet, but one day...