being the right partner

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Recently, I discovered Paul Newman's letter to his wife on their wedding day: “ Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created. In the Art of Marriage, the little things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say ‘I love you’ at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon; it should continue through all the years. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family. It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have the wings of an angel. It is not looking for perfection in each other. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is finding room for things of the spirit. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and obligation is reciprocal. It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner."

life begins

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When you stop pretending that you've got it all together.


When you stop pretending like you ever did.




When you surrender to the concept of amazing grace
and dole it out by heaping spoonfuls to yourself and others.




That's right, forgive yourself first; because then it's much easier to release others.


When you admire and appreciate the beauty that surrounds us everyday
in nature and in people of all sizes, shapes and nationalities...
without the thief of comparison and without feeling diminished or insignificant yourself...




When you lose the US vs THEM mentality.


When you recognize and count your blessings even on the toughest days.


Because if you are reading this blog and/or you ate today, you are among the richest in the world.  That's right...  The richest.  




When giving becomes more important than receiving.


When you realize that it's not all about you and it is no longer about what they have or haven't done, but it's about what this heart, this mind and these hands can do for the greater good.  


When you're no longer singing the Everyday Blues and you send the Woe Is Me mentality a packing, that is when life begins, my friends.


Open your eyes to the magnificence that surrounds you.
Unparalleled beauty is just a glance away.


Surrender (again)
to Trust
to Beauty
to Grace
to Love


When you trust the process and accept the divine rhythm that has been given to you for this measure of life.  Then you are fully alive...


Let's go there,


♥ Sharita

forgiveness

photograph courtesy of Jadyn Noelle Photography

"Forgiveness means giving up the hope that the past could have been any different."  

A good friend posted this quote on Facebook the other day and it totally resonated with me.  It was a timely reminder to forgive and let go of wishing that the other person would have:

cared

understood

listened

been honest 

appreciated my honesty

acted mature

respected my boundaries

included me

been nice

brought their beef with me to me

stopped criticizing

quit lying, manipulating and attempting to control me

been sincere

accepted me

and the list could go on and on...

It was also a timely reminder to forgive myself for: 

    

trying my best but still not getting it quite right

talking too much

exposing my heart to people who were not safe

trying to be whatever he/she wanted me to be

making the same mistake over and over 

again the list could go on and on, but you get the gist...

So today I am making a Public Service Announcement: 

It is time.  Time to forgive everyone else and yourself.  For everything.  

Today may you walk in the power and freedom of forgiveness. 

next stop: funk-free living

Is there a situation or an outcome you are gripping so tightly that you can't find acceptance or peace?  


Sometimes there are distinct moments where we implicitly know we need to let go and forgive.  One of those moments just happened to me mere seconds ago as a shovelful of dirt came flying my way. 


Other times, it's not so obvious as there are days, weeks, months and years of hurts, pains, misunderstandings, stockpiled emotions, unsavory interactions and perceived injustices crammed in the recesses of your heart.  This can happen to the best of us and for me it was one. tangled. mess. 


A wise friend once said, "If you are breathing, you have hurts, habits and hang-ups."  
So here are a few questions for today: What emotions are stirring underneath the surface?  Do you have a gnarly knot deep within?  If so, will you go there and start to unpack?  Today?


I know... sometimes the thought of unpacking feels overwhelming.  Personally, I am one who prefers to live out of my suitcase after a trip until it's "unpacked" so I understand if you're feeling a bit reluctant, yet this must be done.  Somehow... (with intention)... Someway... (one article at a time)


Put simply: you will face the funk or live in a funk forever.  Pretending like there's nothing beneath the surface or faking it like you don't (regularly) live in a funk can only last for so long.  Been there, done that and realized real quick-like that living the fake life and lying to myself just ain't for me.  I mean, who in tarnation really wants to live that way?   In time willpower will run out and since pretending is the antithesis of all that is authentic, we don't want to live there anyway.  I'm not talking about faking it until you make it, either... because I do get that. "Do it scared" (meaning pretend like you're not scared and go for it) is one of my favorite phrases by Joyce Meyer.  While there is a time to fake it 'til you make it, that's not what I'm talking about here.  I'm talking about unpacking the overflowing closet of your life that resides deep within your heart.  I have found that when I don't unpack, I start to act out in the nastiest of ways because the residual yuck and decaying emotions eventually start to seep out.  After all if the closet is piled high and stuffed to capacity, it's really tough to keep the door closed.  This, my friends is "the funk" and you must face it and unpack it or by default, you live in the funk.  Forever.  


I'm not down with the latter and I sure hope you aren't either. 
Girlfriends and Homeboys, it's time to face the funk.  


Over time I have found that the more I unpack, the better I feel, the lighter I travel and the easier it is to forgive and let go.  I get to practice this just about everyday in some form or another.  If you have an overgrowth of emotion to address, do not be afraid.  Like Joyce said, Do it scared! All the while, keep this in mind: You deal with the funk one piece, one moment and one step at a time.  


For me, right now I am processing through the hurt and pain of rejection.  Looking at a cocktail of lies, anger, judgements and criticisms and for the first time realizing that I don't have to drink it.  My position has been supported by some and misunderstood by others.  I am so grateful for the support and regarding the haters, I say, "Oh well... that's too bad.. Bless their hearts" and I often refer to Agreement 2.  Yeah... for sanity and personal well-being, this girl's gotta do what this girl's gotta do.  So, until hearts are changed (mine included?), it is what it is...  and while I do have hope that it will not always be this way, I'm not holding my breath while I wait.  


So until change comes and even if change never comes, I have decided to let go.  Detach.  Totally.  In Love, which means that I allow all the hurt and anger to dissipate, forgive all the foolishness (including myself) and trust that greater things are yet to come.  In the mean time, I celebrate all the beauty that is in my life every. single. day.  Because... despite the peripheral drama, I have so much goodness going on right here.  See how good unpacking feels when you come full circle?


I have found that there is an art to letting go, which means to say it is not a one-time event but rather an ongoing process.  As each layer is peeled back, you discover another emotion to observe, learn from and ultimately release.  I find that as I keep peeling the layers back there is a lightness... a freedom emerges which can't be taken away.  As I flex my God-given right to be me, clarity, support and provision emerge, and the brilliant light of authentic living shines  until my heart is fully open and my soul is set free.  Won't you join me in the pursuit of a clutter free life?  Let's unpack, Ladies and Gentlemen because the destination is WELL worth it.