yeah, I suck my thumb... so what?!

I don't suck my thumb, but my kiddo does and when people make uninvited comments and antiquated assessments about it, I am momentarily baffled.  Why?  Mainly because my child is Minding His Business (perhaps these people need to take a page out of that book?) and  neither of us asked for personal opinions on thumb sucking.  I've noticed that people just trudge right on in to uninvited territory to say, you're too old to be sucking your thumb or stop that.  We just look at the offender like they're a fool.  And they are.  Because offering an opinion when no one cares what you think--evidenced by the fact that they didn't ask-- is synonymous with foolery.  Typically I want to offer them a warm glass of shut the hell up or quip off some uninvited advice of my own: yeah, you're too old to be tanning and orange isn't a good color for skin anyway... or  maybe you should try thumb sucking instead of smoking, drinking, overeating or whatever... or Hey there Stranger, thanks for the ten second voluntary parenting tip, but no thanks. Really.  

But then I remember that 

a) mean is ugly
b) I need to treat people the way I want to be treated

c) responses like that are not representative of my best self      

d) it's best to respond with the truth in love

So, I end up saying (with a smile!) something along the lines of you know, we're not worried about it, so you don't need to be either... or he'll know when it's the right time to stop sucking his thumb... or my husband sucked his thumb when he was a kid and he's an awesome guy, so pretty sure, he'll be just fine too. 

Sounds much better than shut the hell up, right?

credit

So me and my cute lil' thumb sucker move right along happy and carefree as ever.  And then later on I started to wonder: Why do we think we have the right to tell someone else-- who we are not in charge of-- what to do?  While I am a fan of encouragement and challenge even (when relationship warrants it and it is absolutely necessary) I do not believe we have the right to verbalize indignation and concern over the personal preferences of another, especially when these personal preferences are not hurting or infringing upon the rights of others.  When and why did we stop taking the time to care, question and perhaps understand rather than make swift comments and  harsh judgments about such trivial matters?  It's foolywank.  So please, let's stop offering our uninvited opinions and stop attempting to boss the lives of others, which will help us all look a little less foolish, really. What do you say we all get outraged, undignified, bossy and nosey about the things that actually matter like poverty, prejudice, sickness, disease, and injustice?  United we could do so much to exact change in a positive and meaningful way.  I wholeheartedly believe we could make a difference where it counts, and if a thumb sucker is in our midst, so be it.  

Beauty is skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone

photog by Jadyn Noelle Photography

A friend posted this comment on Twitter and it literally made me laugh out loud.  We tweeted  and laughed back and forth about it.  Ugly = mean was my friend's final tweet and I responded something along the lines of Ain't that the truth!  Subsequently, I went from laughing to pondering the weight of truth within the statement.  Beauty is skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.  Such a simple statement.  So powerful.  So true.  


As I think about some of the most beautiful people I know, they each possess a radiance that starts within and is reflected on the outside as well.  Inner beauty,  the true catalyst for outer beauty, trumps all. 


So the question for today is are you beautiful *handsome for the gents* or ugly?
I'm not talking about your personal evaluation of your eyes, nose, face, smile or other assets, either.  This is a question that requires us to look within and ask: What is the condition of my heart?   How do I look within?  What's really going on skin deep?


God don't like ugly...


Beauty is as beauty does I have heard folks say... 


So what does Beauty look like?
Beauty is thoughtful, patient and kind.  It responds with a pure heart, expresses sincerity, speaks the truth in love and seeks to build up others.  A Beautiful heart is an open heart, one that embraces life to the full.  Beauty is welcoming, loving and supportive, thinks of others first and wants what is best for all.  Faith, love, hope, trust, encouragement and forgiveness are all expressions of Beauty.  


How does Ugly look?
Ugly is hasty and mean.  It crafts and holds onto lies, tears others down, and reacts with anger, hatred and aggression.  Ugly refuses to accept truth and insists on winning at all costs.  Ugly thinks only of self, sees no way but it's own and blames everyone else.  Ugly one ups, tears down, excludes and takes pleasure in causing others pain.  Gossip, jealousy, envy, hatred and strife are all synonymous with Ugly.   


When I read through the two descriptions above, all the words describing Ugly actually sound detestable.  The words describing Beauty sound desirable and attractive.  Beauty describes all the traits that I want to emanate, so that is where I purpose to live life and I hope you will join me.  Now is the time to become the Beauties that we truly are because if Ugly can go clear to the bone, well Beauty can too.