your best self

Regardless of what others are doing, always purpose and endeavor to be your best self.

It is a battle--being your authentic self-- because there are ample opportunities to throw in the towel by ignoring the whispers of your soul, following the status quo herd and pretending to be something you really aren't.  We must press on in order to find our stride and after while, who we are becomes seamless and synonymous inside and out.  Please note: this is not a one time event but an ongoing process, pursuit and lifestyle.  When we stick with the journey, we become open vessels who can give and receive, authentic individuals who just live fully and freely refusing to do life in carefully crafted compartments.  We enjoy life and just live it.  Purposefully.  Intentionally.  In wide open spaces.  Aware of our thoughts, mindful of our word choice, gracious and compassionate in loving ourselves and others.  We own our beauty (or handsomeness!) and we admire and appreciate it.  We see it for what it's truly worth.  Then we are no longer threatened or intimidated by false advertisements, the manipulative media or even the beauty of others because we know there is more than enough.  That this ample universe is burgeoning to overflowing with resources and room for everyone.  Everyone who chooses to partake, that is.  And because we know that who we are is no accidental thought or passing fluke, we humbly accept the lessons that life has to offer and through acceptance, we grow in wisdom, patience and grace.  Nobody said it would be easy.  So sometimes it does hurt, but after while, the climb starts to feel so good that we can't stop.  We don't want to.  And even though we feel worn to a nub at times, we keep going because new adventures await.  Deeper knowledge. Divine experiences and greater things generally speaking.  We may glance back--from whence we came--occasionally, but the past never holds our gaze for long because we are too grateful.  Too excited about right now, today and the future.  Things are too good to stall, so as we keep moving forward, we know that our character (the way we act when we think no one is looking), how we treat ourselves and how we treat others matters.  It really matters.  And so we decide to press on regardless of what other folks are doing.  Never forgetting this fact: what other people think of me is none of my business.  

Here's to being your best self, 


XO- Sharita

how to prioritize your life

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"If you want your life to have a point, you'll have to taper it."  -Laura Francis

Verbal checkmate death blow to a recovering thought I could do it all, but I know 'tis true.    So as I vacillate between missions of ending hunger, building bridges out of poverty, swimming with dolphins, riding elephants in Bangladesh, folding laundry, cooking dinner, loving orphans, globetrotting, caring for widows and poor folk, telling people Jesus loves em, singing songs of hope, going grocery shopping, teaching and encouraging others, the whole taper thing comes to mind because you see, my list is broad.  T  O  O  B  R  O  A  D.  Time to narrow down, lean in and focus on what's really important in the right here and right now... in this season of life.  Doesn't mean I won't build bridges out of poverty.  Doesn't mean I won't love and care for widows and orphans.  Because I do and I will continue to do so; however, there is a natural order to fulfilling your dreams and it revolves heavily around your life priorities.  A few years ago, my brother shared this revolutionary list with me and now I'm sharing it with you.  In order of importance, here goes:

God
Spouse
Children
Call of God
Job
Others 
Yourself

PLEASE for the love of all things seen and unseen, keep reading even if you're single, have no children or think that God sucks.  I ask you to keep reading because for everyone, purpose and priority begin with the deep, intuitive, genuine part of you that is spirit.  Hence spirituality or a relationship with God (who LOVES YOU UNCONDITIONALLY and is like the best dad/dream dad ever!).  For me, the list above helps tremendously because if I am working my singing, writing and speaking while neglecting my hubster and our young'un, I know that I've just booked a one-way ticket to Crazy Town.  And since I no longer enjoy trips to that place, I now know how to re-direct and re-focus my efforts.  Meditating on scriptures and praying always bring me back to center and from there it's easy peasy to do life.  I cannot tell you how many times I have forgotten this simple yet profound truth.  Nor can I tell you how many years my priorities in life looked like this:

Me
Doing
Whatever
I 
Want 
To
Do


OR THIS:


Doing 
Everything
That
Others
Want 
Me 
To Do

Yeah, those eras didn't fare so well.  

Today I am so grateful to be living in a place of clarity where my priorities are straight.  Yes, walking it out can be a real booger at times, but I'm committed to giving my best effort everyday.  Doing my 100% absolute best and trusting God to do the rest.    

The cool thing about this list for properly prioritizing life is that it works for every stage and every aspect of life.  Married with no kids?  Life priorities looks this: 

God
Spouse
Call of God

Job

Others 

Yourself

Not married with kids?
God
Children

Call of God

Job

Others 

Yourself

Single with no kids?
God
Call of God
Job
Others 
Yourself

You see, you just skip over any aspect of  life that doesn't apply to you.  Skip over any aspect EXCEPT GOD.  <---That's the clincher here and He applies to you, loves you and wants to be part of your life whether you know it or not.  Whether you open your heart to Him or not... and even if you think He sucks, He still loves you with a passion because He's just bomb.com like that.  

If you're single now but you get married next year, you add spouse to the list at the appropriate time.  

The "call of God" is specific to each individual and it includes: 
your natural talents and gifted-ness
the issues that you are passionate about
the thing(s) you do that make(s) your heart race and 
you never ever get tired of it and 
it never ever feels like "work"

For me those things are writing, singing, speaking/teaching, working with young people and encouraging others.  Sometimes your job and the call of God are synonymous.  Other times they are two separate entities altogether.  Neither way is wrong or right, it just depends on the season (of life) you're in...

And placing yourself at the end of the list does NOT mean that you neglect to take care of yourself.  No you ARE to care for yourself.   It's all about maintaining a healthy balance, knowing that life is not ALL about you yet knowing that it's not about neglecting yourself either.  It's a delicate balance for sure, but it is totally do-able.  One of my favorite reminders from scripture is this: Love your neighbor as your self.  How can I love my neighbor if I don't love myself?  It's not possible, peeps.  So it's about living with the awareness that life is not "all about me" (aka being selfish or narcissistic), learning the balance of giving and receiving as well as caring for others and myself.  Placing yourself at the top of the list is the fast track to Narcissist Island, which ultimately isolates and destroys the individual.  Even the Greeks knew that to be true.  See their story about Narcissus here.

God's totally unselfish love is the only sustaining force that cannot be diluted, compromised, found faulty or remotely shaken.  And I know this only because it happens to be my bedrock foundation.  The fact that I am still standing (after all I have been through) is no little thing.  I'm sure the same is true for you. So, that being said, let's get and keep our priorities straight.  Let's adjust whenever we see a subtle reminder that things are off track.  For years, I kept this list on my bathroom mirror and it was also written in the the front flap of my journal.  I think it's time for me to put the list on display once more.  

Let us live with hope for a bright future that is the fulfillment of our wildest, deepest and most passionate dreams; yet be fully focused and engaged in the present, that which is before us today.  Paper stacks, half finished projects, punches in the face from the internet and all... I like to keep myself accountable and in check on the daily never forgetting the fact that I've got a pimped out ride in Bangladesh.  

♥ Sharita

mom panel

I get to be part of a really awesome panel of 6 mamas.  The purpose?  To encourage moms in their current season of life and give them a heads up about what's ahead.  If you're not a mom, stay with me because the material we share actually applies to all people.  Grannies, Papaws, Cousins, Godparents, Siblings, Foster Parents, Guardians, Aunts and Uncles even.  Everybody can walk away with helpful information.  Promise.

The cool thing about the panel is that it's comprised of 6 women and we're all from different walks of life.  Each mama shares ten things she is learning or has learned about her current season of life.  It's funny.  It's real.  It's encouraging.  I am on the panel and I laugh, cry and learn something new every time we speak. 

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Just to whet your tastebuds... here are a few juicy bits:

Raising Preschool Children 

Never bad mouth spouse, parents, in-laws to/with/in front of the chi'ren.  Save personal gripe sessions for a  confidante (not your child) who will listen to you, pray for you and then tell you to snap out of it!  

Raising Elementary Ages  

My example trumps all.  We can say what we want to our children, but they will follow what we do.  How I live matters.  

Raising Teenagers

I have learned not to overreact and jump in too early... I need to respond vs. react... I realize my child will pick up on my emotions and it can possibly make things worse.  

Raising College Age "Adults" 

You've had them 18 years... it's too late if you haven't taught them to make their bed, wash their own clothes, be responsible with money, choose their own friends and study.  Sink or swim... let them... and don't nag.  

Interactions w-Married "Children" and Grandchildren

Love grown children and their spouses unconditionally.  Encourage constantly.  Find positive character traits and offer genuine praise often.  Communicate with genuine love and respect.  

Raising children as a Single Parent

Choose to go on living rather than allow myself to be paralyzed emotionally and spiritually... living in a long-term dazed state.  I may have to make this choice repeatedly.  

And that's just an appetizer!  I hope something encouraged or inspired ya!  Pass it on or live it.  Community is a huge part of raising young'uns so don't discount yourself if you aren't a parent.  We all have a part to play  in the lives of people who are younger than we are. 

And as far as the mom panel goes, it's a full dose of laughter, truth and encouragement.  Pinky swear!  We travel and we're willing to talk to anybody who'll listen! Holler if you'd like to have us come share the full monty!  

Word with the Wise Wednesday: Vanessa Clark

1. What important life lessons have you learned so far?
I would say the most important thing has been that everything comes forth from your purpose in life.  Every decision, relationship and connection is tied to the plan for your life...  It is important to flow with and embrace the stages and seasons of change that come with life.  Once I was operating in my purpose as an individual and now I am in a season of purpose that includes my family.  

2. How is the world today different or similar to what it was like when you were a child?
The major change is not so much in the world as it is in me.  I have a different awareness.  There is an awakening that has occurred as I've matured and my outlook filters the way I see the world.  For me, it is all about my eyes being opened to God's plan and the depth of purpose in my life.  I was not aware of this as a child as much as I am now.  Regarding the world, what has been has always been.  There were bad things then and bad things now... good things and good things now.

3. What has been your hardest lesson to date?

To let go of things.  In order to attain serenity and peace, I have to give whatever "it" is up and trust that all will be taken care of.

4.  What is the one thing you want people to remember about you?
I was an example of light in the world.




Vanessa, affectionately called Vanes, is my home slice.  She's sweet like sugar...  Seriously, one of the sweetest and most genuine people I know.  We cheered together in college, traveled and worked together doing coaching and choreography and never got on each other's nerves.  (Call me on it if I'm lying, Vanes!) :)  Working with her was ideal because we balanced each other out so well.  We have many laughs and fun memories together.  She is one of the amigas who inspired my how to be a fab friend post.  We have laughed, cried and prayed together... still do!  We share our hopes, dreams, fears and encourage each other to overcome, let go, have faith, and keep moving forward.  She is a very loving and dedicated wife and mother.  You met her hubby last week in word with the wise wednesday.  Now you get to meet the awesomeness that is Vanes!  If you can't tell already, I think she's pretty darn fantastic.   






Let your light shine today and always.

Throwback Thursday: Remember when you were going to change the world?

Today I had the awesome pleasure of having lunch with a longtime friend who is truly a kindred spirit.  Although we hadn't seen each other face to face in several years, we share a deep connection that was forged and developed during a very special season in life.  This type of connection can never fade for it transcends all we know and converges at the very depths of who we are as individuals.  I was SO happy to see her again.  I was excited and I was expecting a time of truthful, inspiring and dynamic interaction...  cause that's how we roll.  She still looks EXACTLY the way I remember her...  lovely and radiant on the outside and within.  What I adore most about this meeting is our time of encouragement and fellowship.  We discover that our journeys are parallel in a variety of ways and really, this is no surprise.  We have been through the fire... gone to hell and back and here we are... still standing with a steady and deep resolve to live a life overflowing with joy, hope and authentic purpose. Deep calls unto deep as memories, declarations and reminders of sacred callings, hopes and dreams flood the surface.  Time feels suspended as I remember when... 
May you too be reminded of the hopes, callings and dreams of long ago for today is the due date of yesteryear.