All of these feelings were a cocktail of contrasting emotions. Sitting on top of my own turbulent heart sensations were the tough situations of folks I love and adore. It was all too much and I woke up with a sense of drowning in overwhelm. Flying down the highway I said a whine of a prayer that went something like this: Please help. Everything feels so harsh right now. Like it's all too much and I am not feeling the love. The very thing I thought would heal me has brought me undone. It feels like I cannot sense love and beauty anymore. Open my eyes and help me see. Help, help, help.
I floundered and felt bottomed out emotionally for a few hours, but I kept pushing through--on the verge of tears--taking one step at a time. A phone call from my favorite uncle was the first sign. His call was the lifter of my head. We talked for hours and it was food to my soul. Food. To my soul, yall. Monarch butterflies were the next omen. All day, everywhere I went, they fluttered nearby and made my heart leap. Their orange wings brought me hope for the present moment. Even Neighbor was involved without knowing. She rounded out the trifecta when she so lovingly ran an errand for me. I didn't ask or expect her to yet she *always* does things like this for me; however, on this particular day, she delivered a loving message from the librarian. Her exact words that echoed in my heart: You are loved by even librarians.
God's answer was undeniable: See the beauty and feel the love because it is SO there.
|Earth Angels are real yall!|