foolywank friday: everything is easy #lie

Pretending like life is easy.  Why do we do it?  Why do we lie to ourselves and others saying everything is all good when it isn't? Sometimes life delivers a tough and swift kick to the gut; other times life delivers a huge bouquet right on our doorstep.  My point today is this:  when life is tough... and at some point it will be because the struggle is inevitable... reach out to someone you can trust and let them know what's up.  We all need encouragement and support on the regular, but during the tough times, we need it even more.  

Stop pretending like _______ isn't hard.  


Fill in the blank...


life
this relationship
working
trusting others
marriage
trying again
moving
moving on
cleaning up
saying goodbye
child-rearing
letting go
divorce
single parenting
holidays with/without the extended fam
working out
kicking a habit
eating healthy 
transition
empty nest
love
sickness
death
being your best self

Fill in the blank and then stop pretending.  Because in this case, pretending is synonymous with lying to yourself and we all know that lying to yourself is NEVER a good thing. 

Life is hard sometimes because it is a battle.  

Oh yes, there are moments of reprieve: time to reflect and take in all the beauty and splendor. Yet there are undeniable times of disappointment or momentary paralysis.  In those difficult moments, it is important to say (admit!) to a loved one or trusted friend that this situation "is hard" or things are "rough right now."  Sometimes we just need to say it so we can hear that loved one or trusted friend say, "I can imagine" or "I understand" ... or perhaps they'll sit with us, hug us, pray for us, talk us off the ledge or simply hold our hand.  

Sometimes we need to hear "I know it's tough, BUT YOU CAN DO IT."

Sometimes it's hard and then it gets hardER before it gets easy.  

Just keep pressing on, my friend.  Change is coming.  The struggle is inevitable, but change is too.  So is triumph and it is in your blood to battle and emerge victoriously.  

Quit pretending like it's not hard sometimes though.  Everything is easy = Lie.

Life is gloriously brutal, breathtakingly beautiful, worth doing.

Fight hard for faith, family, friendship, hopes, dreams and love.

These things are all worthwhile.

Let's just make sure we love, support and encourage each other along the way.  

We will come through it if we are willing to press on rather than pretend.  

Foolywank Friday: quality versus quantity

Quality: a degree of excellence
vs. 
Quantity: an indefinite amount or number  


Why do we believe that bigger is better?  
Where did the notion if a little feels good then more is even better come from?


Although I don't know the origin of these statements, I do know one thing about them. They are both synonymous with one word: foolywank.   


In many areas of life, I am beginning to see that quality trumps quantity.  Dare I say in all areas of life, quality trumps quantity?  Yes, I dare to say it loud and proud: Quality trumps Quantity.  Always.  


As I pondered this post, I attempted to discover instances where quantity was most important and every time I thought I'd discovered an example, I could always spin it to make quality the winner.  


Money?  A quantity of rupees (basic unit of currency in India, Mauritius, Nepal, Pakistan, Seychelles and Sri Lanka) in the middle of Aldi (local supermarket) won't do me any good because the rupee has no standard (or quality) in the US.  A quantity of rupees in the right location would be fantastic if the money is quality (not damaged or counterfeit).  


Next, I thought of Love.  An indefinite amount or number (aka quantity) sounds fabulous, right?  Right.  Until I realized Love without quality would connote crap-tastic, lackluster love.  And a whole (indefinite!) lot of it.  Pass!


Don't believe the hype.  


Lack of quality = useless.  


Quality over quantity.  


Always. 






Would love to hear your thoughts...

Foolywank Friday: Last Week

Jury Duty


The death of three young adults.  Very young adults... like 18 years old.  Felt and still feels so swift and untimely... My heart literally aches for their friends and family.


Paper trails and red tape of the insurance process.  How someone can have insurance, need an emergency surgery and yet be waiting in the hospital for treatment is absolutely asinine.  


Watching a couple walk through a hellish, real-life nightmare within the legal system.  Tough, bizarre and surreal, especially when I think of the numerous chronic offenders who traipse in and out of the justice system.  


Did I say jury duty, already?


Many times last week it felt like I was seeing life through a dark and cloudy glass.  I kept rubbing the window pane trying to create a clear spot for viewing however my visibility remained somewhat obscured.  I continued moving forward.  Slowly.  When it's foggy, you have to travel like that despite your hopes, aspirations and plans.  Keep moving forward even at tortoise pace.  Even when things are not turning out the way I wanted them to and especially when I have to do things that I don't want to do. I am reminded that Growing Up...  Maturity is a continual process.  Last week drained me.  I felt mentally, physically and emotionally tired.  Thus the foolywank.  Not the issues and incidents that happened but my response? Foolywank.  So after I throw a fit or two or three, I finally land on these facts: 


During the times I cannot make clear, direct meaning or really grasp the greater purpose of all that is going on, I cry and cling Hope.  I am Broken and Hopeful all at the same time.  Broken because I am physically unable to alter or fix anything that is going on.  Hopeful because I know who can. And in the event that He does not work things out to my specifications, I am Hopeful still because I know He is good and that ultimately (somehow, someway... EVEN THOUGH I CAN'T SEE THROUGH THE CLOUDY WINDOW PANE) things will work out for good.  So I invite my brokenness in, have a real good cry and then cloak my brokenness in Hope.  Hope that things won't always be Broken.  I actually heard an amazing and uplifting message on this divine paradox just the other day.  Click here if you'd like to hear/view a video of the message.


As I type this Foolywank Friday post, a few lessons start to emerge:


I cannot get mad at God for what others do with the gift of free will.    


Being grateful (for what I do have/did have ...for how ever long I have/had it) is key.  


Jury duty made me especially grateful for my daily gig, way of life and many blessings.  (Soon-ish, I will write a post about my final day of jury duty because it was really sweet.)


Hold on to Hope.  Hold on to Hope.  Hold on to Hope.  Never let go. 


Trust Him and Surrender to His Process   


So, in light of our weeks that look like pure, unadulterated foolywank, let's cling to Hope, shall we?  The Hope that one day what is now cloudy will become crystal clear.  


p.s. On a non-Foolywank Friday note, last night I got to see the screening of an AWESOME, INSPIRING, and FAMILY FRIENDLY movie, Courageous.  My sweet friend, Vanessa hooked me up with tickets.  Thanks again, Vanes!  :D ... The movie made me think, laugh and cry.  Yet I left uplifted.  The movie is good.  So good that I will pay to go see it again this weekend.  Click here for more information about the movie Courageous



Love and Hugs!!!

Foolywank Friday: Forgetting that seasons change...

CLICK HERE to "Like" Jadyn Noelle Photography on Facebook

 Is this Fall weather not delightful?!?!  I find myself daydreaming about lighting the fireplace, drinking hot chocolate and noshing on homemade caramel corn.  It's really hard to fathom that a few weeks ago, I was sweltering in the throes of a blistering and unrelenting heatwave.  Today the temp is a cool and breezy 57 degrees and I am lovin it!  A good friend on FB pointed out how our temps today are half, yes HALF of what they were when we were living in the days of the outdoor incinerator.   As I pondered the dramatic drop in temperature, I realized the foolywank-ness of forgetting that seasons change.  This foolywank is especially present when in the midst of an adjustment period or a tough time AKA the inferno.  This too shall pass and when we adjust to the "new normal" it will then be time to evolve again.  Such is the journey of life.  I wonder when we will accept it.  Today is as good a day as any, don't ya think?           


People change.


I change.


You change.


Hopefully for the better.




Seasons change...


Embrace Embrace Embrace.

Foolywank Friday: Pretending like the images in magazines are legit

photograph courtesy of  Jadyn Noelle Photography

Sometimes... (usually while standing in the checkout line at the store)... I find myself being sucked into the false world of magazine covers.  I have to snap myself out of the dream world of perfection and back to reality with the quickness.  (You can see where I wrote more about kicking the idea of perfection to the curb over here.)   Since we all know these doctored images are not based on truth, why is the temptation to accept the false sense of beauty and the lie about reality so great?  The ongoing barrage of ads, photographs, campaigns and advertisements has become an assault to the mind, will, senses and emotions.  These images are everything except authentic; therefore, they should have no valid place in our minds, hearts and souls.  

A few days ago, my good friend, Holly, posted this link by Beauty Redefined about the foolywank "standards" of the industry.  I'm not blaming Photoshop, the celebrities or even the industry.  I am saying that it is time for us, the consumers, to become non-consumers and totally reject these false notions and images.  Period.  

Foolywank Friday: Acting like Democrats or Republicans can really fix all our problems.

Let me begin this post by saying that I believe in the idea of democracy and I am truly grateful for my country and the quality of life that I experience here.  I exercise and appreciate my right to vote; however, I have noticed this simple pattern that the majority of politicians seem to follow:  

Promises Made --> Promises Broken --> Blame Game Begins  *repeat*

I have watched this cycle more times than I can count and I'm pretty much over it.  Polarizing, extremist diatribes and the vitriolic speech I am hearing from both (Democrat and Republican) camps is no longer acceptable.  For years (YEARS) candidates from both sides of the fence have failed to deliver.  In theory, politics should be simple; however, with lobbyists, agendas, affiliations and special interest groups, things get really complicated rather quickly.  All these complications seem to cause a chasm between our elected officials and we the people.  


I am often flabbergasted by the faith that people place in mere men and women.  Flabbergasted.  All of our hopes and dreams were never meant to be placed in the hands of man.  Never.  Man* (including Democrats and Republicans) cannot fix all of man's problems.  The power of man alone is simply not enough because our problems run deep.  Way deep.  Most of the issues we are facing as a country center around matters of the heart: lust, greed, envy, pride, selfishness, gluttony, and anger.  And hate it or love it, it is impossible to legislate morality (matters of the heart).  I'm not saying give up and have no laws, either.  Obviously laws are necessary; however, matters of the heart are are meant to be governed by an inner standard of character, community standards, discipleship and ultimately a personal and life changing encounter with God.


Today I am wondering what happened to WE the people facing these issues TOGETHER as a country?  I believe in debate and lively discussion.  We are supposed to rally and champion for beliefs and causes near and dear to our heart; however, I do not believe in an US vs. THEM mentality nor do I believe name-calling, personal insults, attacks or blaming ONE person (which could be any of the following: H.W. Bush, Clinton, W. or Obama, depending upon your political affiliation) for ALL the problems we are facing and experiencing today.    


We are facing problems that have been years in the making.  Years... as in decades.  So again, blaming our President or any other individual is ludicrous.  


Seriously, what is it with the blame game?  It's old as the Garden of Eden... 
Is that the reason why we have allowed Blame to hang around so long when it does not accomplish anything?  We do not allow our children to do it, so why give ourselves or politicians a pass?  It is past time to stop and now seems like as good a time as any to give the blame game eternal rest.


Complaining, blaming, venting, spewing hot air... it's like sharing your cold with someone in the hopes that it will make you feel better.  Foolwanky, right?  Right.  Because at the end of it all, you still have the cold and now you've given someone else a cold too.  Engaging in divisive, blame-laden behavior accomplishes absolutely nothing.  It seems as if we have mistaken bashing and blaming someone with discussing and discovering real solutions, which is a FAIL of epic proportions.  


What if we agreed to discuss the issues (sans name calling, blame, personal attacks and anger) and treat one another with love and respect?  Imagine what would happen if we crossed political lines to pool our energy, ideas and resources to come up with viable solutions?  What if WE the people actually became the change that we so strongly wish to see?  
  
Even if I disagree with you, I don't have to berate you as a fellow human being because we are both worthy of love of respect.  I am not better than you and you are not better than me.  We are all the same in God's eyes.  Once upon a time, people did not agree on everything politically speaking and they still showed one another decency, courtesy and (adhered to the basic principles of) respect.  I saw this with my own eyes growing up.  


If you are one of those people who refer to someone as an "idiot" (or any other name) just because they do not agree with you, it's really time to re-think that.  What happened to caring about, finding out about that person's background, knowing their story and sharing yours so you both can discuss the issues and find solutions rather than resort to name calling a la 2nd grade?  Has our fast paced, technology obsessed, social media driven culture eradicated time to care about and truly engage with another human being?  If so, we're on the highway to hell.  Let's turn this car around, shall we? 


Whenever we (Americans) come together, whomever we're against KNOWS they're in trouble.  Lately though, it seems like we (Americans) are against each other.  We the people are better than this.  I am waiting for us to come together and work towards viable solutions.  Unity towards a common goal is one of the things that has always made America great.

I'm not sold out to any one political party or particular candidate because I'm not one to put my faith and hope in people or organizations.  I appreciate and exercise my right to vote; however, I have come to realize that you simply cannot legislate morality.  If you could, we would have no speeding, murders, or stealing because there are laws against all of that.  Matters of the heart require true change and true change comes through Christ.  

This post has been a few weeks in the making so no one thing has set it off.  I have thought like this and about this for quite some time now.  This post is not about bashing President Barack Obama or ANY other President, so don't go there.  This is about our political system which we have (sadly) allowed to become a well oiled, hypocritically malfunctioning machine.  


Comment if you dare, but leave the partisan foolywank and drama out of it.  If you haven't already, please read the comment policy (especially if this post has somehow ticked you off).  I love and I am friends with a variety of people: politically astute folks, politically ignorant folks, zealots, liberals, independents, and conservatives alike.  I genuinely love people and their opinions don't particularly bother me.  I can respect you (even if I don't agree with) your  position.  Today I am curious about lack of respect for each other, name calling, issuing blame and misplaced faith in the political arena.  

People over politics is how I roll.  How about you?

*you know, people... all huMANs 




p.s. Jesus for President by Shane Claiborne is a must read.  It is an unexpected storyline that is equal parts engaging, challenging and fabbbb.  If you are interested, check it out here.  It is soooo NOT what you think.  (That's how it was for me anyway).  




Be sweet.  

Foolywank Friday: There is a plant called Wandering Jew?!?

A few weeks ago, I was wandering through a beloved nursery seeking visual inspiration for my flower beds.  This particular nursery is my favorite one in town.  I adore the people who own and run it because they are knowledgeable, fun, family-oriented and extremely patient teachers.  Whenever I have an outdoor need, they're my first (and quite often my only) stop.  


Perusing the perennials, I came across an unusual but beautiful purple and green plant that I had never seen before.  The plant was gorgeous and hearty.  I wanted to know the name of it, but it was unmarked and there was no one nearby at the time so I stroked the plant and moved on.  I planned to ask someone about it on my way back up front.  As I started to retrace my steps, I saw that another customer was eyeballing my precious purple plant.  Although I wasn't close enough to let her know that she was touching my plant (lol), I was close enough to hear her ask the name of the plant.  Finally, I thought, I will know the name of my beloved precious.  To my surprise, I hear one of the owners say, "That is a Wandering  Jew."




*crickets*




all around the nursery for at least twenty seconds...




Seriously, nobody moved or said a word.  
Not the owner, the lady trying to take my plant, my gardening accomplice or me.  This nursery sits close to a main road and not a single car whizzed by.  Everything and everyone was stoic, silent and completely still.  


I could not completely wrap my mind around the myriad of emotions I was feeling about the name of that plant.  I still loved it, still thought it was beautiful, but could not bring myself to purchase it.  Mainly because the other lady grabbed it before I could get back to it; however, the name of the plant hit me as being extremely odd, ill-fitting and outright ridiculous.  I went home and searched Google only to find that "Wandering Jew" is indeed the name commonly used for the plant.  What the foolywank? These findings made me sick to my stomach.  


On and off I kept thinking about my plant.  I would envision it in my garden and then instantly cringe at the thought of someone asking me, "What type of plant is this?"
I had to overcome sadness and anger at ignorance, racism and prejudice perpetuated through the naming of a plant.  I wanted to know who originally named this plant so that I could give them a piece of my mind.  Then I realized that they were probably dead.  *sigh*  So much for poetic justice...


A few days after the PND (Plant Name Debacle) at the nursery, I was visiting with a beloved neighbor who happens to be a gifted gardener.  This neighbor has cultivated a pristine, manicured front yard and a back yard that is equal parts lovely, breathtaking and enchanting.  My gardening accomplice asked to see the neighbor's backyard so we traipsed across the street.  We had just meandered through echinacea, phlox and hollyhocks when I stopped.  My eyes fixated on the gorgeous, purple plants that were growing in abundance... I recognized them immediately.  


I gathered my thoughts, harnessed a flurry of feelings and somewhat hesitantly asked my neighbor, "What is the name of that plant?"  


There was a moment of silence and then a reply with somewhat of a giggle at the end of it.  "You know folks used to call it Wandering Jew, but surely no one calls it that anymore."

*crickets*

all around my neighbor's backyard for at least twenty seconds...

Once again, nobody moved or said a word.  

Not my neighbor, my gardening accomplice or me.  Everything and everyone was stoic, silent and completely still once more as we all stared at the lovely plant...  


My neighbor broke the silence with the swell of a heartfelt question, "Well, do you want some?"  We locked eyes and after another moment of silence, I flashed the biggest smile and said an emphatic "Yes!"  As my neighbor began to spout instructions and dig up the lovely, precious plants, I realized that I was starting to come full circle with this lesson.  

I brought the plants home and per instructions placed the jar in the window sill and waited for the roots to sprout.  Just yesterday I noticed the first roots have arrived and it was at that precise moment when I realized the Latin name of the plant probably sounds so much better. 


So whenever it cools off, I am really, really looking forward to planting my Zebrina.