Foolywank Friday: Last Week

Jury Duty

The death of three young adults.  Very young adults... like 18 years old.  Felt and still feels so swift and untimely... My heart literally aches for their friends and family.

Paper trails and red tape of the insurance process.  How someone can have insurance, need an emergency surgery and yet be waiting in the hospital for treatment is absolutely asinine.  

Watching a couple walk through a hellish, real-life nightmare within the legal system.  Tough, bizarre and surreal, especially when I think of the numerous chronic offenders who traipse in and out of the justice system.  

Did I say jury duty, already?

Many times last week it felt like I was seeing life through a dark and cloudy glass.  I kept rubbing the window pane trying to create a clear spot for viewing however my visibility remained somewhat obscured.  I continued moving forward.  Slowly.  When it's foggy, you have to travel like that despite your hopes, aspirations and plans.  Keep moving forward even at tortoise pace.  Even when things are not turning out the way I wanted them to and especially when I have to do things that I don't want to do. I am reminded that Growing Up...  Maturity is a continual process.  Last week drained me.  I felt mentally, physically and emotionally tired.  Thus the foolywank.  Not the issues and incidents that happened but my response? Foolywank.  So after I throw a fit or two or three, I finally land on these facts: 

During the times I cannot make clear, direct meaning or really grasp the greater purpose of all that is going on, I cry and cling Hope.  I am Broken and Hopeful all at the same time.  Broken because I am physically unable to alter or fix anything that is going on.  Hopeful because I know who can. And in the event that He does not work things out to my specifications, I am Hopeful still because I know He is good and that ultimately (somehow, someway... EVEN THOUGH I CAN'T SEE THROUGH THE CLOUDY WINDOW PANE) things will work out for good.  So I invite my brokenness in, have a real good cry and then cloak my brokenness in Hope.  Hope that things won't always be Broken.  I actually heard an amazing and uplifting message on this divine paradox just the other day.  Click here if you'd like to hear/view a video of the message.

As I type this Foolywank Friday post, a few lessons start to emerge:

I cannot get mad at God for what others do with the gift of free will.    

Being grateful (for what I do have/did have ...for how ever long I have/had it) is key.  

Jury duty made me especially grateful for my daily gig, way of life and many blessings.  (Soon-ish, I will write a post about my final day of jury duty because it was really sweet.)

Hold on to Hope.  Hold on to Hope.  Hold on to Hope.  Never let go. 

Trust Him and Surrender to His Process   

So, in light of our weeks that look like pure, unadulterated foolywank, let's cling to Hope, shall we?  The Hope that one day what is now cloudy will become crystal clear.  

p.s. On a non-Foolywank Friday note, last night I got to see the screening of an AWESOME, INSPIRING, and FAMILY FRIENDLY movie, Courageous.  My sweet friend, Vanessa hooked me up with tickets.  Thanks again, Vanes!  :D ... The movie made me think, laugh and cry.  Yet I left uplifted.  The movie is good.  So good that I will pay to go see it again this weekend.  Click here for more information about the movie Courageous

Love and Hugs!!!


  1. I feel like this was a cliffhanger . . . I want to know what happened the last day of jury duty!!

  2. LOL because I loathe cliffhangers! Didn't mean it that way, promise! haha Hopefully I can post it sometime next week :D


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