goodbye, dakota bread

It is with much sadness and great displeasure that I announce the closing of my favorite local bakery, Great Harvest Bread.  *uncontrollable crying* 

*said between sobs* I don't even know when this happened!

Please forgive me for losing it.  *blows nose followed by a sniff sniff *
I am so sad about this that I can hardly keep my composure. 
This hurts me to my core.  You see, they made the only bread that I like.  

*another bout of uncontrollable crying*

You see I am down to maybe 5 slices now.  Earlier today I decided to ride out to get a loaf of bread, but I could not remember the store hours.  So I decided to check their hours online and double check their online baking schedule (to make sure my beloved Dakota bread would be there today).  I could not find their website, which I thought was weird, so I looked up their phone number, dialed it and got the infamous the number you have dialed is not in service recording.  

The horror, I thought, Great Harvest did not get to pay their phone bill.  

I had not been to the bakery in a good little while because my freezer stash was chock full.  Now that my supply was bout scarce, it was time to roll out.  Down the highway I went, excited about seeing the smiling faces at the bakery and purchasing my precious Dakota bread.  When I pulled up to the bakery, I got that somethin's not right feeling, but I ignored it and put my car in park.  That's when I noticed the neon sign was not lit.  Dangit! They've already closed for the day, I thought.  Lemme go see their store hours so I know when to come back for my precious. 

I hopped out, traipsed over to the door and that's when I saw the sign taped to the window.  

Gosh, yall, this is too traumatic! I can hardly stand to repeat it.  *places hand to head*
Give me a minute, please.  *places hand over mouth and stares off into the distance*

*loud sigh*

There was a sign taped to the window from the inside of the store that read: 
"Starting Sept 5 we will be on vacation for two weeks."

I stood there like a child who had lost a puppy or dropped a freshly purchased ice cream cone.  I was happy they were on vacation and all, but couldn't help thinking how in the heck are 5 slices of bread gonna last me two weeks?!?!?  To make matters even more complicated, someone had taped a sign to the outside of the window that read: 
"We are closed." 

Someone had also handwritten on the sign:
"We went bankrupt."  
"Is that true?"

*another loud sigh*

What the hell is going on, I thought.  
I pressed my face into the glass, shielded my eyes with my right hand and glanced all around the store.  No sign of life.  No ingredients.  No breads.  No power brownies.  No menu written on the chalkboard.  No nothing. 

I slowly walked back to my car and plopped down into the driver's seat.  That's when I remembered it's almost November so they are not on vacation but indeed closed.  I felt too numb to cry so I started my car and drove home on auto-pilot. 

I have no recollection of the drive home.  

If you are anywhere near a Great Harvest Bakery, please go and have a slice of Dakota Bread ASAP.  They will let you try it for free and I guarantee that after one bite, you will buy a loaf.  

See you at the crossroads, Dakota Bread.  Please give Saint Peter a shout out from me.  I don't have any liquor here, but if I did, I sure would go pour some out on my curb.  

*singing like Boys II Men* It's so hard to say goodbye to Dakota Bread.

Ode to Dakota:
You are so light and fluffy with just the right amount of crunch.  Your flavor is delightful.  I savor every bite.  Now that the nearest loaf is so far across state lines, I don't know what to do.  When the 5 slices are gone, I will contemplate a very long drive to see you and bite you and chew you again because no other carb will do.  Dakota, it's always been you.  

and now a haiku:
I will miss you so
Nutty texture flavorful
Breakfast is a bust

Look at her.  Isn't she lovely?  You are the sunshine of my life, Dakota Bread.  Breakfast just won't be the same without you.  Jesus, take the wheel!!! *uncontrollable crying*
image credit

1 comment:

  1. I feel your pain just made me holla out loud at work!



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