I do but I don't...

Want to get along with everybody even though I know that I can't.  As much as it depends on me, I do my best to be at peace with all people; however, I have recently realized that it's just not possible to get along with everyone.  Hell, ten percent of the population just ain't gonna like you no matter what you do.  Auntie Laura told me that minus the hell part.  I don't know why it's like that but it is, so my goal is to operate in Love towards everybody... even though I may not like you and you may not like me.  In these instances, I remind myself: It's all good.  Oil and water, baby.  Oil and water.  


Want to save the world, but since I am not a Savior... I'm committed to do my best to make wherever my corner of the world is a little brighter.  Sometimes that means listening to someone share their heart, sending a sincere letter in the mail or making a meal for someone who just had a baby or isn't feeling very well.  Other times it may mean showing up and trying again (even though it didn't work the last time), smiling graciously when I really want to cuss, forgiving what seems to be unforgivable or reminding myself and others that Jesus loves unconditionally and actually likes us too.  Turns out he's the Savior and all... 


Want to always say yes because on some level, I equate saying yes with fun.  Turns out it's not... Saying yes all the time leads to a worn out, emotionally drained trainwreck of a being, which is just not a good look.  So, I'm STILL learning how to say no.  I blogged about that over here and by now I thought I would have already had it down pat.  Turns out this whole saying-no-thing is a tidge tougher than I thought.  No worries, I have a couple of people who give me ample opportunities to practice.


Want to have it all!  Typing out those words just felt ridiculous because I know the concept of "having it all" is bogus.   A girl (or guy) just can't have it all because in the pursuit of all things, everything that is essential, invaluable and irreplaceable gets lost or severely damaged at the very least.  Wanting it all is just a really bad trick.  It's a rigged trapdoor that pretends to be a fun and fabulous all expense paid vacation when it's really a one way ticket down the rivers of regret to the doldrums of discontent.  PASS!!!


As I was typing this post, I noticed one word over and over again: 


Want Want Want Want Want... 

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This challenges me to focus on all I Have Have Have Have Have today.  


To remember that there is enough grace to do this day and this day only.  To revel in the beauty of all that is present right here, right now.  And then to repeat that over and over again until it's time to go to bed and embrace sweet sleep.  


There is a song by One Republic that cuts to the heart of it so well, "All I need is the air I breathe and a place to rest my head..."


Conflict resolved.  

the not so much list...

Let me just begin by saying I truly appreciate the LOVE and ENCOURAGEMENT that was showered upon me yesterday.  All the support (texts! and emails! and comments! oh my!) makes me feel like the luckiest girl ever.  


Welcome to Day Deux @ Above the Fray... It's so fun getting to know each other and all...  This sorta feels like the beginning of the school year...  Getting to know the teacher... the teacher getting to know you... learning the rules of each classroom...   'Member that???

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Well, it has always been odd to me that we introduce ourselves with all the things we adore and rarely ever know (let alone tell) people the things that drive us up the wall.  Why do we keep annoyances on the downlow?  Do we expect people to figure these things out by osmosis?  It can take years (synonymous here with forever) to discover that which annoys the heck out of somebody and by then the bridge is usually going up in flames. 






My new philosophy is this: 
Know thyself... this includes the LOVES and the NOT SO MUCHSIES.  
This link will take you to my LOVES: 
http://sharitabent.blogspot.com/p/about-me.html

BUT since this post is not about my LOVES...  Ladies & Gentlemen...

My Not So Much List:
junk mail
stank breath
lazy peeps
charging my cell phone (can someone create a solution for this already?)
frowning
deviled eggs
miscommunication
gossip
anything cookie cutter
one way relationships 
pessimism
potato salad
ppl who talk while the movie is playing 
envy
strife
negativity
heavy winter coats
talking when I'm sleepy/hungry or first thing in the AM
mayo, ketchup, pickles, mustard
liars
energy vampires
idle chitchat
whipped cake frosting (gag!!!)
tuna
mean people
drama kings or queens
haters
labels/stereotypes
moles having a hayday in my backyard
prejudices 
living a mediocre existence (not honoring my dreams and passions)
denial
snakes
personal space invaders
stinky burps to the face or burps in close quarters




I initially came across the idea of a NO List in an awesome book by Cheryl Richardson called The Art of Extreme Self Care.  The idea seemed selfish and pessimistic to me at first glance; however, I am starting to realize:


The power of knowing how and when to say NO will allow me to say YES appropriately and without reservation.  



What about you... 
Are you any good at saying NO?  
What are some of the things on your Not So Much List?