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Verbal checkmate death blow to a recovering thought I could do it all, but I know 'tis true. So as I vacillate between missions of ending hunger, building bridges out of poverty, swimming with dolphins, riding elephants in Bangladesh, folding laundry, cooking dinner, loving orphans, globetrotting, caring for widows and poor folk, telling people Jesus loves em, singing songs of hope, going grocery shopping, teaching and encouraging others, the whole taper thing comes to mind because you see, my list is broad. T O O B R O A D. Time to narrow down, lean in and focus on what's really important in the right here and right now... in this season of life. Doesn't mean I won't build bridges out of poverty. Doesn't mean I won't love and care for widows and orphans. Because I do and I will continue to do so; however, there is a natural order to fulfilling your dreams and it revolves heavily around your life priorities. A few years ago, my brother shared this revolutionary list with me and now I'm sharing it with you. In order of importance, here goes:
Spouse
Children
Call of God
Job
Others
Yourself
PLEASE for the love of all things seen and unseen, keep reading even if you're single, have no children or think that God sucks. I ask you to keep reading because for everyone, purpose and priority begin with the deep, intuitive, genuine part of you that is spirit. Hence spirituality or a relationship with God (who LOVES YOU UNCONDITIONALLY and is like the best dad/dream dad ever!). For me, the list above helps tremendously because if I am working my singing, writing and speaking while neglecting my hubster and our young'un, I know that I've just booked a one-way ticket to Crazy Town. And since I no longer enjoy trips to that place, I now know how to re-direct and re-focus my efforts. Meditating on scriptures and praying always bring me back to center and from there it's easy peasy to do life. I cannot tell you how many times I have forgotten this simple yet profound truth. Nor can I tell you how many years my priorities in life looked like this:
Me
Doing
Whatever
I
Want
To
Do
OR THIS:
Doing
Everything
That
Others
Want
Me
To Do
Yeah, those eras didn't fare so well.
Today I am so grateful to be living in a place of clarity where my priorities are straight. Yes, walking it out can be a real booger at times, but I'm committed to giving my best effort everyday. Doing my 100% absolute best and trusting God to do the rest.
God
Spouse
Call of God
Job
Others
Yourself
Not married with kids?
God
Children
Call of God
Job
Others
Yourself
God
Call of God
Job
Others
Yourself
You see, you just skip over any aspect of life that doesn't apply to you. Skip over any aspect EXCEPT GOD. <---That's the clincher here and He applies to you, loves you and wants to be part of your life whether you know it or not. Whether you open your heart to Him or not... and even if you think He sucks, He still loves you with a passion because He's just bomb.com like that.
If you're single now but you get married next year, you add spouse to the list at the appropriate time.
The "call of God" is specific to each individual and it includes:
your natural talents and gifted-ness
the issues that you are passionate about
the thing(s) you do that make(s) your heart race and
you never ever get tired of it and
it never ever feels like "work"
For me those things are writing, singing, speaking/teaching, working with young people and encouraging others. Sometimes your job and the call of God are synonymous. Other times they are two separate entities altogether. Neither way is wrong or right, it just depends on the season (of life) you're in...
And placing yourself at the end of the list does NOT mean that you neglect to take care of yourself. No you ARE to care for yourself. It's all about maintaining a healthy balance, knowing that life is not ALL about you yet knowing that it's not about neglecting yourself either. It's a delicate balance for sure, but it is totally do-able. One of my favorite reminders from scripture is this: Love your neighbor as your self. How can I love my neighbor if I don't love myself? It's not possible, peeps. So it's about living with the awareness that life is not "all about me" (aka being selfish or narcissistic), learning the balance of giving and receiving as well as caring for others and myself. Placing yourself at the top of the list is the fast track to Narcissist Island, which ultimately isolates and destroys the individual. Even the Greeks knew that to be true. See their story about Narcissus here.
God's totally unselfish love is the only sustaining force that cannot be diluted, compromised, found faulty or remotely shaken. And I know this only because it happens to be my bedrock foundation. The fact that I am still standing (after all I have been through) is no little thing. I'm sure the same is true for you. So, that being said, let's get and keep our priorities straight. Let's adjust whenever we see a subtle reminder that things are off track. For years, I kept this list on my bathroom mirror and it was also written in the the front flap of my journal. I think it's time for me to put the list on display once more.
Let us live with hope for a bright future that is the fulfillment of our wildest, deepest and most passionate dreams; yet be fully focused and engaged in the present, that which is before us today. Paper stacks, half finished projects, punches in the face from the internet and all... I like to keep myself accountable and in check on the daily never forgetting the fact that I've got a pimped out ride in Bangladesh.
