Showing posts with label attitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label attitude. Show all posts

touche






The first thing that comes to mind for me is how often we look at each other and make judgments based on surface appearance and/or our opinions and ideals without getting to know the person behind the burqa or the bikini.   It is so unfortunate that in the short term, making assumptions about each other seems so much easier.  Today, I remind you and I remind myself to stop using stereotypes.  Making harsh and often untrue judgments against each other is a one way express ticket to Hell.  Call me old fashioned, but what if we took the time to listen, to care, to show love, mercy and grace or at the very least ask questions and then really hear the answers.  Imagine a world where we chose to think the best of each other, not the worst.  

Sadly, this cartoon reflects our attitudes today.  Attitudes that continue to make the world sick, corrupt minds, polarize humanity and validate our decisions to turn against each other.  It is so sad because whether we see it or not--just like this cartoon above-- we're in bondage.  To our ideals, our self-righteous existence, our flawed sense of justice and our perceived right to live our life... all the while judging others for living theirs.  Heaven, help us all is the cry of my heart.  Help us.  Help me.  To live what I believe.  To love my neighbor as myself.  To treat others with love and shower them with grace, especially when I believe they are in the wrong.  To trust God and walk in a judgment-free zone.  Oh to realize that I am not always right.  That I cannot see the entire story from beginning to end.  To know that try as I might, I am not a Savior (Jesus is) and that ultimately I do not have the power to set all things right.  This doesn't mean that I just give up, either.  No, I keep fighting, but I know that what Gandhi said is true... "An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind."  The thought of this goes against everything in me when I am wronged, hurt or just plain ol' pissed off.  You see, if my eye is the one that just got poked, this feels unpopular and uncomfortable, but it is true nonetheless. So I continue to fight with an arsenal of non-traditional weapons: vulnerability, authenticity, grace, prayer and love.  Keep fighting.  Especially when it would be easier to just give up, cuss everybody out and go have a turkey sandwich.  I don't really like turkey, but you catch my drift.  

To remember the words of Jesus whenever I am tempted to judge someone,  "Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone..."  Nice way to say shut the hell up and go sit down somewhere, huh?  Jesus is so loving and classy like that.  I want to be like him.  I do.  Yet I am too quick to pick up a stone or poke the eye of whoever just poked me, which is why I ask him to help me everyday.  Left to my own devices, I am a rank mess that overflows onto others.  We all are.  'Tis true.  But when I tune my heart to listen to his voice and meditate on his words in scripture, I go from a rank mess to a work-in-progress-masterpiece.  That's an upgrade that I'll take any day.    

When I'm tracking with Jesus, I'm not giving anybody else the side eye, philosophically venting about someone through my status update on Facebook or Tweeting with the power and speed of an F5 tornado.  Instead I feel settled, at peace and able to walk in Love because this is what I hear in my heart and spirit: we are all the same kind of different; we are His... I also realize that I am often doing the very thing that I am judging in someone else, which is why forgiveness wins, a little Grace can go a long way and Love is the best motivator.  You know, the kind, patient, non-envying, non-boasting, non-judgmental type of Love.  Not the counterfeit, narcissistic and currently prevalent idea of love that says: do it my way, it's all about me and gimme mine.  I'm talking about true Love.  The Love that we all desire deep down... Love that keeps no record of wrongs, does not dishonor others and always protects.  If you want, you can read more about that kind of Love here.  I truly desire that kind of Love in my life.  I want to give and receive Love.  

Receiving Love... God's unconditional love is step one.  Accepting that God loves you.  Unconditionally.  Yes, you.  God loves you no matter who you are, what you've done or what you're currently doing.    He loves you even if you don't love Him and contrary to popular belief, He loves everyone.  Everyone, which includes but is not limited to: Gays, Straights, Lesbians, Transgenders and Bisexuals... Liberals, Conservatives, Bigots and Activists...Folks who are Single, Married, Widowed, Divorced, Re-Married and Blended Families (hello, Jesus was in the first blended family)... He loves Criminals, Liars, Thieves and Drug Dealers alike... He loves Welfare Recipients, Coupon Queens, the Rich, the Poor, Orphans, Haters and everyone in between.  He loves President Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Bill Clinton too.  He loves people who wear a bikini and He loves people who wear a burqa too.  He loves everybody and He don't play favorites like we do*.  Accepting that fact is the hardest part, I think.  I still don't fully understand why He loves me, but I do accept it and I will tell you this: His Love is so wide and deep that you just can't wrap your mind around it.  Don't even try because it'll give you a fierce headache.  Trust me.  This is a love that defies reason.  His Love is a truth that you have to accept and believe with your heart.  You know that true Love is the majorly lacking component in this world of ours.  I believe this is precisely the reason why true Love is the gift that Jesus brings to each of us.  His Love is beautifully pure and simple because it's for you and it's free.  All you have to do?  Believe and embrace.  You see, the crux of it is this: we have to receive it before we can give it.  Try as we might, our best attempt at love is counterfeit until we get a taste of the real thing.  You can read more about this sweet Love here.  Accepting this free gift of Unconditional Love is step one.  The hardest part, I think.  So hard but so worth it because His Love is what makes me see that Ms. Bikini and Ms. Burqa are my sisters.  This Love is what motivates me to embrace the truth that we are more alike than different and it continually reminds me that we are somehow the same kind of different.  That our journeys parallel, but we can only know this about each other if we open our hearts, authentically share and truly listen without preconceived thoughts, notions and opinions.  Love prompts me to be part of the solution and gently reminds me that I am the pot so I need to stop calling the kettle black.    


Endnote: This was a weighty post for me.  I've been pondering it for months now and still the words did not go how or where I thought they would...  Yet, I followed the trail to the end and clicked "publish".  While I was mulling everything over in my heart, mind and soul, I asked a few folks to share their thoughts:  

"...the naked tail chick thinks she's free since she can dress how she wants, but showing her ass to everyone isn't really freedom.  It plays into nasty fantasies, but she's bought the lie. ..Meanwhile, Ms. Cover-Up... shows how free and holy she is, but that still plays into a very controlled and male-dominated society...  Two extremes that are both wrong." -Cheray

" One is using her body to get attention and validate her self worth.  She's not even using her mind and ironically, she covers her eyes, which are the window to her soul.  She will show skin but hide her true self.  The other exposes who she really is (through her eyes), but her skin, which is private, is covered."  -Holly

"Touche."  -my Hubster


What are your thoughts? 



*I'm bound to get flack for this statement, but I don't care because I didn't make the rule up.  God did.  (Those who don't like it can take it up with Him.) It's 100% true and the Bible proves it time and time again.  His Love is like the sun, it shines down on everyone, so don't let anyone tell you any different.  If you receive His Love, it'll change your life for the better and in more ways than you could ever imagine.   I'm living proof of that.  Pinky Promise.  



must read monday

Recently I started reading three books that are rocking my world in all the right ways.  I am reading them in tandem, slowly digesting the passages and incorporating the practices into my everyday life.  These are the three books:



The Resolution for Women by Priscilla Shirer*

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Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst

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and A Course in Weight Loss by Marianne Williamson

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Can you tell what I'm working on, Ladies and Gents?  The battle of the bulge.  Losing my baby weight (finally! Cause my baby is in PreK) and my happy married lady weight.  You know how you get married, you're happy and you put on a few pounds?  Yeah, I'm coming up on a decade of marriage.  Still happy.  It's just time to lose the fat.  Never to find it again!  

It's time for me to delve deeper into healthy eating habits.  Today I said to my good friend, Holly: I'm finally facing, delving into, dealing with and kicking the crap out of my food issues.  I'm tired of the crazy cycle that leads to my fat pants!!!  

And with Christmas just around the corner, I do not/cannot/will not/am not in the mood to overindulge (because that always where indulgence leads me), gain 15 pounds and start the foolywank rigmarole of New Year's Resolutions.  I am dealing with the mess starting right now.  

I think my sister-in-law said it best: I'm not waiting till January.

So I do yoga, I shake my booty to Zumba and I deal with the heart of my cravings, desires and needs.  This is a really good thing and like I said, the books have been rocking my world in all the right ways.  So I'm taking notes, enjoying the reading and committing the truths to deep tissue memory.  Pun intended.  LOL!  I will share gems of truth with you as I continue to process through the material.  Hugs XOXO



What are you reading?



*Priscilla Shirer's book is not about weight loss, but it is about resolving to be your best self which flows in the same vein as health/wellness and fitness, ya dig?

you are what you speak

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Our words have tremendous power.  I think we all know this, but do we live it?  My awesome auntie says that we must exercise wisdom regarding the words we speak for we will live in the reality of our words.  Today I am thinking about the words I speak.  Living in them.  Makes me want to exercise wisdom and restraint just a little more.  For the most part, I am an extremely positive person; however, I have a tendency to make off the cuff comments that are equal parts hilarious and inappropriate.  I like to make these types of comments.  Did you see that: I like to make these types of comments.  I think they're appropriate because they're truthful and hilarious.  How could you go wrong with laughter and the truth?  Easily.  I promise.  And so it is my dear friends that my thoughts are precisely where the change must (initially) take place.  It is likely that I have resisted for so long because I'm not being super raunchy or anything like that; however, if my Granny were sitting there, I probably wouldn't say it OR I would find a more graceful way to express the thought or idea.  As long as I can remember, I've always had little quips to throw out here and there, but it is time to exercise a higher degree of discernment, wisdom and grace when it comes to my speech.  It is time to be impeccable with my words.  I believe that I am a world changer and I believe you are too.  Let's harness the power of our words and move forward in our calling, purpose and destiny.    When we are salt and light (in word and deed), we will season the atmosphere with love, hope and grace.  And that sounds like a tasty dish.  


  

Foolywank Friday: quality versus quantity



Quality: a degree of excellence
vs. 
Quantity: an indefinite amount or number  


Why do we believe that bigger is better?  
Where did the notion if a little feels good then more is even better come from?


Although I don't know the origin of these statements, I do know one thing about them. They are both synonymous with one word: foolywank.   


In many areas of life, I am beginning to see that quality trumps quantity.  Dare I say in all areas of life, quality trumps quantity?  Yes, I dare to say it loud and proud: Quality trumps Quantity.  Always.  


As I pondered this post, I attempted to discover instances where quantity was most important and every time I thought I'd discovered an example, I could always spin it to make quality the winner.  


Money?  A quantity of rupees (basic unit of currency in India, Mauritius, Nepal, Pakistan, Seychelles and Sri Lanka) in the middle of Aldi (local supermarket) won't do me any good because the rupee has no standard (or quality) in the US.  A quantity of rupees in the right location would be fantastic if the money is quality (not damaged or counterfeit).  


Next, I thought of Love.  An indefinite amount or number (aka quantity) sounds fabulous, right?  Right.  Until I realized Love without quality would connote crap-tastic, lackluster love.  And a whole (indefinite!) lot of it.  Pass!


Don't believe the hype.  


Lack of quality = useless.  


Quality over quantity.  


Always. 






Would love to hear your thoughts...









One of my favorite quotes

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." -Marianne Williamson




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What's "Above the Fray" Anyway?

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Above the Fray is a lifestyle, an attitude, a state of mind.  It is the decision to live life on a higher plain where I am learning how to honor the truths within my heart and live every day with intention and joy. To live Above the Fray is not a one time decision.  It is a lifelong commitment...  a journey of sorts where the state of my heart, thoughts and feelings (the aspects of me that no one can see) are growing and evolving in dynamic ways.  While the individual lessons are always different, the core element of the lessons remains the same: rise above it all and soar towards the horizon of your destiny.  For me, right now, it's all about moving forward despite failures and setbacks, loving others, letting go when necessary, holding onto hope, having a grateful heart and counting my blessings, not judging (myself or others), trusting the process and living one moment at a time.  In a nutshell, it's about celebrating life each day because every lesson, failure, opportunity or setback is just another stroke of the brush that is crafting this life into a beautiful and brilliant masterpiece.  Am I a finished work of art today?  No, not yet, but one day...

Hey Yall!!!






Welcome to my corner of the web!  I am so excited to be posting my FIRST blog!  I wanted to start a blog years ago, but I kept making excuses.  Finally, I'm over it!  I've put it off long enough... so today is the day!!!!!  Here at Above the Fray, I hope to provide encouragement and inspiration for folks to live out their dreams, discuss life challenges and find solutions, fully embrace the adventure of life, share the laughter & love, navigate the ups and downs, and never ever ever give up!
By nature, I am an encourager and a dreamer ... eternally optimistic and genuinely enthusiastic (unless I'm sleepy or hungry and then... not so much).  I appreciate good music, hot tea, connecting with others, true friends, supportive family, just about anything vintage, hugs and laughter that makes my side hurt.  I am a deeply creative, highly sensitive person who is often thinking outside of the typical parameters.  Without a doubt, I believe that everyone has the gifting and ability to contribute something that is special and unique to the world.  Everyday everyone gets another chance to live their best life.  If life sucks today, be encouraged...things will get better!  If your life is already good, well things can just keep getting better.  YOU, your attitude and your circle of influence are major determining factors.  
Let's support and motivate each another along the road of authentic living!  
I'm gonna make a difference in this world and I know that you can too!  I do hope you'll join me.  It'll be a fun ride!!! There's a little piece of the dream in my heart...  Writing this blog to you today is a part of my dream.  What's your dream? 



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