transitions

credit

Anybody other than me going through some major transitions and changes right now? Lord, I sure do hope I ain't the only one. While I welcome change and transition like I would welcome a beloved, lifelong friend, somehow I always seem to forget how difficult periods of alteration can be.  So as I sit smack dab in the middle-- well, hopefully, more like three quarters of the way into this leg of my life journey, I can see how I've grown and matured in some ways.  I've learned to take things like this in stride a bit better than before. I've always known and chosen to believe that no matter what happens, I am going to be alright. Nevertheless, there is still a small part of me that wants to throw a tantrum, pout it out, then sit down and have a real good cry.  Why? Because everything feels so raw.  I feel extremely vulnerable and fragile because I have no idea about the ultimate plan and the unfolding timeline of events.  I've done all I can, and now, I must trust the process.  And wait.  It feels like I'm standing in a corridor.  Just standing.  Out here.  Unable to go into a room yet.  You know, just hanging out in the hallway.  It's dark and it's awkward because I can hear the buzz of activity going on behind the doors that are around me-- even though I'm not currently immersed in any of those worlds.  I'm waiting for the light to come on, for a door to fly open so that I can walk in dancing. I've done all I know to do, so now I'm waiting: Learning patience.  Resting: Learning more about Self Care.  Playing: Learning what Play looks like to me now in this stage of Life.  Keeping my friends close and letting the drama and its minstrels fade into oblivion.  Even though it feels uncomfortable, I know I am in a really good space.  Transition seems hardest when I'm trying to look cool, calm, and in control of the ride; however, when I let go of my perceived route and just roll with the reoccurring recalculations of the GPS, then (and only then) does the light turn on in the hallway.  And in that illuminated moment, I realize that I've got this.  And by this, I mean that I can jam, dance, laugh, and sing because my only job right now is to rock out in the hallway, and then keep the party going when the right door swings open.  

being the right partner

image credit

Recently, I discovered Paul Newman's letter to his wife on their wedding day: “ Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created. In the Art of Marriage, the little things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say ‘I love you’ at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon; it should continue through all the years. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family. It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have the wings of an angel. It is not looking for perfection in each other. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is finding room for things of the spirit. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and obligation is reciprocal. It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner."

Word with the Wise Wednesday: My Granny

1.  What important life lessons have you learned so far?
Worrying is a waste of time.  Pray and trust God.  He will take care of you.  Worrying will just ruin your health.  If I can do something, I do it.  If I can't do anything, I pray and leave it in God's hands.  I have never been forsaken and He has always made a way.  Some people think they have to rob and kill, but there is no need for that.  God will take care of you if you let Him.


2.  How is the world different or similar to what it was like when you were a child?
When I was growing up, everything was segregated, but I didn't let that bother me. At that time, it was just the way things were and although I didn't particularly like it, I never thought about it much.  Today there are a lot more freedoms and so many opportunities for young people especially... yet I see so many young people getting into trouble and going astray.  Not all young people are getting into trouble; however, it seems like there are too many that are...  In my day, maybe one or two kids out of the whole community would get into trouble. Now this is happening with too many of our young people and it's really sad.  Many families will not admit that they are at fault, but character development, life training and discipline happens first and foremost in the home.  


3. What advice would you give parents today?

Teach your children about God's way.  You will never regret it.  Also, teach them to respect you.  Don't give them everything they want.  Only give them what matters (your time, love, character and discipline).  Don't let them have their way with everything.  When you discipline your children for doing wrong, it must come from a place of love.  If you do not discipline your children, you are indirectly saying that you do not love them...  Every child is different, but you must love them all equally...  No playing favorites and never praise one child above the other. Also teach them to eat healthy foods because their food choices now will matter later on in life.  


4. What has been one of the hardest lessons you have learned?
That some people are full of envy and jealousy... If they see you doing something positive and making progress, they try to make you stop.  When people like this gave me a hard time, I didn't fight with them.  I just spoke the truth and moved on... Some people are nice and some people are always trying to bring you down.  I never let the negative people bring me down.  I would smile and go right on about my business... I paid them no mind.  


5.  What are your earliest memories?
Let's see... my earliest memories involve cooking.  I can remember cooking my first skillet of cornbread when I was 8 years old.  At age 12, I baked my first cake.  I made it for my birthday and everyone in the community came to get a piece.  I was so happy that other people wanted some of the cake I made.  I was glad to share it and I barely got a piece!

6. What do you want people to remember about you?

That I had patience with my children, grandchildren and great grandchildren... that I helped take care of them, cooked for them and always helped in any way that I could.  

7.  What celebrities did you admire and emulate?

I never did want to be like anyone else.  I just wanted to be myself... I didn't want to cook or sew like anyone else. I wanted to cook and sew just like myself.  I always wanted to be me.  

Here is one of my fav pics of my Granny.  She is second from the left.