yeah, I suck my thumb... so what?!

I don't suck my thumb, but my kiddo does and when people make uninvited comments and antiquated assessments about it, I am momentarily baffled.  Why?  Mainly because my child is Minding His Business (perhaps these people need to take a page out of that book?) and  neither of us asked for personal opinions on thumb sucking.  I've noticed that people just trudge right on in to uninvited territory to say, you're too old to be sucking your thumb or stop that.  We just look at the offender like they're a fool.  And they are.  Because offering an opinion when no one cares what you think--evidenced by the fact that they didn't ask-- is synonymous with foolery.  Typically I want to offer them a warm glass of shut the hell up or quip off some uninvited advice of my own: yeah, you're too old to be tanning and orange isn't a good color for skin anyway... or  maybe you should try thumb sucking instead of smoking, drinking, overeating or whatever... or Hey there Stranger, thanks for the ten second voluntary parenting tip, but no thanks. Really.  

But then I remember that 

a) mean is ugly
b) I need to treat people the way I want to be treated

c) responses like that are not representative of my best self      

d) it's best to respond with the truth in love

So, I end up saying (with a smile!) something along the lines of you know, we're not worried about it, so you don't need to be either... or he'll know when it's the right time to stop sucking his thumb... or my husband sucked his thumb when he was a kid and he's an awesome guy, so pretty sure, he'll be just fine too. 

Sounds much better than shut the hell up, right?

credit

So me and my cute lil' thumb sucker move right along happy and carefree as ever.  And then later on I started to wonder: Why do we think we have the right to tell someone else-- who we are not in charge of-- what to do?  While I am a fan of encouragement and challenge even (when relationship warrants it and it is absolutely necessary) I do not believe we have the right to verbalize indignation and concern over the personal preferences of another, especially when these personal preferences are not hurting or infringing upon the rights of others.  When and why did we stop taking the time to care, question and perhaps understand rather than make swift comments and  harsh judgments about such trivial matters?  It's foolywank.  So please, let's stop offering our uninvited opinions and stop attempting to boss the lives of others, which will help us all look a little less foolish, really. What do you say we all get outraged, undignified, bossy and nosey about the things that actually matter like poverty, prejudice, sickness, disease, and injustice?  United we could do so much to exact change in a positive and meaningful way.  I wholeheartedly believe we could make a difference where it counts, and if a thumb sucker is in our midst, so be it.  

you are not alone

Sometimes I pretend like I am all alone in this world.  A stereotypically and instantly oprhaned Disney character left to make it through life on my own far away from home.  I do not know why I do this.  Maybe it is my creative-dramatic personality or just an independent-loner mentality.  Maybe it's a little bit of both.  Regardless, the lonely card is absolutely bogus, ridiculous untruth.  

So today I think what if I stop telling myself that I am all alone in this world?

What if I start remembering all the instances of laughter, love and undeniable this-person-is-in-my-corner-ness that is there? Oh yes, it is there... if only we will acknowledge it.  

For me lately, support has revealed itself in the following ways: 

unwavering love, support and loyalty that is my hubster

connecting with a bestie (friends since high school) umpteen years later and through it all, the love grows deeper still

full-bodied conversation with a forever friend I met way back in college

belly laughs regarding foolywank performances, Wolverine, ice sculptures and the engraving of a machete

kindred spirits traveling cross country and back with a kitty cat to boot #goodtimes 

friends forev

swimming and soaking up the sun on the 4th of July

keeping it real about struggles, transitions and life lessons

an encouraging comment or email that comes along right when I'm wondering if this blog thing even matters (You know who you are and I truly appreciate your heartfelt expressions. For reals, I do.)

witnessing a dream come true for my little one via Mam, Pap, Aunt Sissy and Kasey the Power Ranger 

connecting over coffee and goodies that were microwaved too long... legs with milk spots #LOL

safety, protection, provision, guardian angels, a cousin-sister, snuggles, chasing lightning bugs, dancing and doing the daily work of being my best self.  

All evidence of a lavish life full of love, encouragement and unwavering support.  You have it too, you know.  Yes, there is always a handful of haters fringe minority handful of haters who don't understand, but that's OK because: 

1. I don't get them either lol! 

2.  What others think of me is none of my business, 'member?

3.  Haters gonna hate, so let 'em hate while we live a life that's great (haha I rhymed! #rapperswag ... not really lol)

When I look around and see how many people I love, how many people love me and are in my corner, it makes my heart smile and then swell with love and gratitude.  Today I hope that you will open your eyes to the caring connections, lavish love and steady support that you have in your life because it is there.  Undeniably.  

your best self

Regardless of what others are doing, always purpose and endeavor to be your best self.

It is a battle--being your authentic self-- because there are ample opportunities to throw in the towel by ignoring the whispers of your soul, following the status quo herd and pretending to be something you really aren't.  We must press on in order to find our stride and after while, who we are becomes seamless and synonymous inside and out.  Please note: this is not a one time event but an ongoing process, pursuit and lifestyle.  When we stick with the journey, we become open vessels who can give and receive, authentic individuals who just live fully and freely refusing to do life in carefully crafted compartments.  We enjoy life and just live it.  Purposefully.  Intentionally.  In wide open spaces.  Aware of our thoughts, mindful of our word choice, gracious and compassionate in loving ourselves and others.  We own our beauty (or handsomeness!) and we admire and appreciate it.  We see it for what it's truly worth.  Then we are no longer threatened or intimidated by false advertisements, the manipulative media or even the beauty of others because we know there is more than enough.  That this ample universe is burgeoning to overflowing with resources and room for everyone.  Everyone who chooses to partake, that is.  And because we know that who we are is no accidental thought or passing fluke, we humbly accept the lessons that life has to offer and through acceptance, we grow in wisdom, patience and grace.  Nobody said it would be easy.  So sometimes it does hurt, but after while, the climb starts to feel so good that we can't stop.  We don't want to.  And even though we feel worn to a nub at times, we keep going because new adventures await.  Deeper knowledge. Divine experiences and greater things generally speaking.  We may glance back--from whence we came--occasionally, but the past never holds our gaze for long because we are too grateful.  Too excited about right now, today and the future.  Things are too good to stall, so as we keep moving forward, we know that our character (the way we act when we think no one is looking), how we treat ourselves and how we treat others matters.  It really matters.  And so we decide to press on regardless of what other folks are doing.  Never forgetting this fact: what other people think of me is none of my business.  

Here's to being your best self, 


XO- Sharita