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Anybody other than me going through some major transitions and changes right now? Lord, I sure do hope I ain't the only one. While I welcome change and transition like I would welcome a beloved, lifelong friend, somehow I always seem to forget how difficult periods of alteration can be. So as I sit smack dab in the middle-- well, hopefully, more like three quarters of the way into this leg of my life journey, I can see how I've grown and matured in some ways. I've learned to take things like this in stride a bit better than before. I've always known and chosen to believe that no matter what happens, I am going to be alright. Nevertheless, there is still a small part of me that wants to throw a tantrum, pout it out, then sit down and have a real good cry. Why? Because everything feels so raw. I feel extremely vulnerable and fragile because I have no idea about the ultimate plan and the unfolding timeline of events. I've done all I can, and now, I must trust the process. And wait. It feels like I'm standing in a corridor. Just standing. Out here. Unable to go into a room yet. You know, just hanging out in the hallway. It's dark and it's awkward because I can hear the buzz of activity going on behind the doors that are around me-- even though I'm not currently immersed in any of those worlds. I'm waiting for the light to come on, for a door to fly open so that I can walk in dancing. I've done all I know to do, so now I'm waiting: Learning patience. Resting: Learning more about Self Care. Playing: Learning what Play looks like to me now in this stage of Life. Keeping my friends close and letting the drama and its minstrels fade into oblivion. Even though it feels uncomfortable, I know I am in a really good space. Transition seems hardest when I'm trying to look cool, calm, and in control of the ride; however, when I let go of my perceived route and just roll with the reoccurring recalculations of the GPS, then (and only then) does the light turn on in the hallway. And in that illuminated moment, I realize that I've got this. And by this, I mean that I can jam, dance, laugh, and sing because my only job right now is to rock out in the hallway, and then keep the party going when the right door swings open.
